I just lost my opening paragraph, again, when I thought I “saved draft” on my computer. I’ve been starting these masterpieces (LOL!!!) on my phone in many instances this 2021 college football season. The computer has been more reliable in saving the blasted things but it certainly did not cooperate this time. So, now, these words constitute my opening paragraph. Speaking of not cooperating. Many years ago, 1988 maybe, I heard Melodye and Leah going at it in Leah’s room one morning before school. The typical wrangle over what Leah wanted to wear. Things quieted down a bit before I heard this shout of declaration, “I will cooperate! I will cooperate!” Wise choice of words darling daughter. Miss Mel has a very long fuse, but when said fuse is burned to a nub, you done went and did it. I tend to have a very, very long fuse when it comes to Auburn coaches. The next game I coach will be my first. I have no idea of the complexity of the intricacies these gents deal with and I cannot imagine the pressure that they operate under. That being said… Well, I’ll just leave it at that for now.
Ole Miss (-2) at Mississippi State
First game of “Rivalry Week.” Ye olde Egg Bowl. I forgot the origin of how this game came to be know as the Egg Bowl. I do know it can get really nasty when these two go at each other. And now, with Kiffin and Leach, we have ourselves a full blown circus. Ah! The potential quotes just waiting to be verbalized! And a tough one to pick. Home team? Highest ranked team? Both teams can sling it around with the best of them. Will Rogers, great philosopher and grassroots statesman. Matt Corral, no shootout at the OK, and no wisecracks like Doc Holiday, but quite the gunslinger. I think State has the better defense. That, coupled with the home field advantage, moves the needle to… Miss State 34, Ole Miss 31.
Missouri at Arkansas (-14.5)
Tigers and Tusks. Live from beautiful Fayetteville, AR. And they have a Friday time slot. Should be another entertaining test. Piggies are 7-4 and ranked number 25 in some poll. If it’s not the CFP poll then it’s, basically, irrelevant. Hey! Eli’s coming with a bowl eligible 6-5 team. The visitors can pull even with Sam Pittman’s crew, record wise, if they can pull the upset. I have a story about going to one of those huge honky tonks that used to be prevalent across the nation’s landscape many years ago. I’ve been to Billy Bob’s Texas on multiple occasions. I went to one somewhere in Silicon Valley before it REALLY became Silicon Valley. It was the largest one west of the Mississippi, so I was told. That was 1993. Anyway, I was at the one that was popular in Fayetteville, Arky in ’94 or ’95. It was ok except for the line dancing, which I truly loathed back then, and still do. I’ll relay the story at a later date. The home team will be doing the dancing in the locker room Friday. Arkansas 38, Missouri 24.
Georgia (-35) at Georgia Tech
First game of the day! Nick nick nick! A game? Really. The Bees lost 55-Zippo to the Fighting Irish last week. I don’t expect anything radically different Satday. Grant Field. Legion Field. Sally Fields. No matter. You know the line in I’m A Rambling Wreck From Georgia Tech? “Like all other jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear.” That is my advice to the supporters of the North Street boys. Start early and finish late. It will all be over before dark. And how about TWO italicized lines in this blurb? Georgia 49. Georgia Tech 3.
Florida State at Florida (-2.5)
Just like last week. Water Lizards favored!? Again, somebody in Vegas is drunk. Dapper Dan could be. He’s free and easy with his buyout and Darth Vader outfit. Eli Drinkwitz (you) trolled Danny Boy pretty good with his Star Wars outfit and this comment. “My father is a farmer and there’s an old saying that you reap what you sow. If you sow kindness, you reap kindness. If you sow jackass, you reap jackass.” Wise words. You might want to take them to heart Dan-0. Noles will drain the Swamp. Florida State 31, Florida 27.
Vanderbilt at Tennessee (-31.5)
That’s a big ole line. The Dores have been getting pretty frisky lately. I don’t know if the Rocky Toppers can lay it on that thick. Ok, they can lay it on that thick. But will they? Nope. Tennessee 45, Vanderbilt 20.
Texas A&M (-6.5) at LSU
Red Stick in the evening. Upset? Maybe. Yaw Yaw remains the coach. Jimbo is, most assuredly, a better coach. And I do believe that the Aggies are a better team. The air will be wafting the smells of bourbon, corn dogs and gumbo. What a trifecta! The guys from Texas play better defense and, well, better offense. It all adds up to… Texas A&M 28, LSU 17.
Clemson (-11.5) at South Carolina
Will Roosterville be as rude to Dabo’s minions as it was to Harsin’s gang? The Felines have been playing well of late, as have the Fowl. Clempson certainly has the better team. I thought Auburn did too. No to the Tigers last week. Yes this week. Clemson 27, South Carolina 17.
Kentucky at Louisville (-3)
Is the Cardinals stadium still Papa John’s Palace or whatever it was? The pizza is falling out of the sky! The pizza is falling out of the sky! ($1 to Larry Munson.) Cats have the better record but they sure have been stumbling around here in the mid to late autumn. They have rebounded from that three game losing streak to pound a couple of much lesser opponents. The Redbirds have also walloped their last two lesser opponents. Home field advantage looks good from here. Extra cheese and pepperoni, if you will. Papa John’s or no Papa John’s. Louisville 24, Kentucky 21.
Alabama (-19.5) at Auburn
I love reading that. AT AUBURN. At Auburn has been very good to the Tigers in Jordan-Hare. They are 10-5 here versus the Crimson Tide. Strange things have happened during this game at Jordan-Hare, also. There is most definitely some mojo for the home team in this venue. I’ve never seen anything like it. Folks can talk about any other rivalry that they care to, and none of them come close to what has been dubbed The Iron Bowl. This will be my 41st Auburn-Alabama game to attend. I prefer that to Iron Bowl. (Having more fun with italics.) Alabama has the better team. And that point is enhanced by Auburn losing Bo Nix, Anders Carlson and Owen Pappoe to injuries. Part of the game boys and girls. All of that puts the visitors at a distinct advantage. It would take a monumental effort form Finley, Tank and the others on offense. The defense would have to play lights completely out and have Bryce Young running for his life. I think some of that will happen but not enough to put Auburn over the top. Alabama 34, Auburn 20.
Auburn also kept me from having a perfect tally last week. I was 9-1 and that upset did me in. Please fool me again this week Tigers! How did President W put it? “Fool me once. Fool me twice. Fool me with some beans and rice.” I don’t know. I’m 81-23 on the year and that is a .778 pct. No more locks. Done with that, although I do like Leach’s squad and the points. Go eat some turkey. Have you a tasty beverage. Live out of gratitude. Be careful. Shake a tail feather. And love thy neighbor. Peace out!