Monthly Archives: September 2022

I Heart New York (And some SEC football predictions)

Auburn might not be playing well but I’m pickin’ just fine, thank you. Record on the season now is 42-7. That’s 86%. That ain’t bad. That is very, very good. Thank you. We enjoyed our first trip to GABBAfest, since 2007, in Macon last weekend more than you can imagine. Go ahead. Imagine. See there You couldn’t do it. We were in Peach heaven! Vaylor and Melody Trucks, the Brother and Sister Band, closed Saturday night’s show at the beautiful Grand Opera House with an Allman Brothers Band tribute that rocked the rafters off of this 100 and something year old venue. Killed it! Slayed it! Wow! And Ms. Donna D. Hall Foster, she of Wet Willie fame along with her brothers Jimmy and Jack, was belting them out like only she can do. From Stormy Monday to Keep On Smilin’… Whew!!!

Ok. SEC football beginning tonight with…

South Carolina State at South Carolina (-39.5). Cocks 42, Bulldogs 10.

Saturday

Kentucky at Ole Miss (-7). Cats 27, Rebel Bears 24.

Alabama (-17) at Arkansas. Crimpson Tide 31, Hawgs 28. (Homeys a lock at +17? Upset?)

Texas A&M at Mississippi State (-4). Bullpups 23, Aggies 20.

Georgia (-29) at Missouri. Dawgs 41, The Should Have Beaten Auburns 16.

Sunday

Eastern Washington at Florida (-30). Gators 45, Eagles 9.

And…

LSU (-9), the heavy, heavy, heavy betting is on the Bayou Bengals, at Auburn. Red Stickers are given a 79% chance of winning. Can Auburn win? Yes. Will Auburn win? I do not think so. Please prove me wrong. LSU 26, Auburn 16.

Next week I will be coming to you from the great Northeast. New England. Candia, New Hampshire Tuesday and Wednesday. Bangor, Maine Thursday and Friday. Down to our old home in Albany, NY on Saturday and Sunday. The Friends and Foliage Tour. I hope I find the time to squeeze the SEC picks in.

Love y’all. be safe. Love that neighbor, as well!

Doesn’t Barry Manilow have a song about New England? I know Reba does.

Peace out.

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Show Me The Way To Go Home

I’m tired and I wanna go to bed… Lawd. REALLY weary of the AU disfunction. Thus, SEC Weekly picks, as you have come to know and love it, is being put to rest. For the remainder of 2022 at least. And we are about to travel. Macon this weekend for the GABBAfest (Georgia Allman Brothers Band Association shindig). Our first in 15 years and that was due to football. New England road trip beginning on 10/2. And goodness knows what else as football proceeds toward the Georgia-Bama matchups in December and January. Sure does look like UGA from this angle. Yes, my interest is headed downward with a bullet.

I’ll be watching when the Auburn-Mizzou game game starts at Noon ET Saturday. But I will not put myself through similar torture as was the case until midway through the third quarter last week. Shades of 2012. Nope!

Now, let us run through some quick picks. Last week I was 9-3. And didn’t hit my locks as I did in weeks one through three. Total on the season stands at 33-6. That’s 85%!

Kent State at Georgia (-45). Dawgs 52, Kent State 0

Missouri at Auburn (-7). Auburn 27, Missouri 20

Bowling Green at Mississippi State (-30). State 42, Bowling Green 13

Florida at Tennessee (-10.5). Tennessee 35, Gators 24

Tulsa at Ole Miss (-21.5). Rebs 45, Tulsa 17

Northern Illinois at Kentucky (-26.5). Cats 38, Huskies 14

Arkansas at Texas A&M (-2). Hawgs 23, Aggies 21

Vanderbilt at Alabama (-40.5). Bama 49, Dores 3

New Mexico at LSU (-31.5). LSU 41, Lobos 7

Charlotte at South Carolina (-22.5). Cocks 40, Hush Hush Sweet 16

There you have it! Y’all have a great weekend! You can bet we will!

“Ain’t but one way out baby, Lord I just can’t go out the door, Ain’t but one way out baby, and Lord I just can’t go out the door. ‘Cause there’s a man down there, might be your man I don’t know…”

Peace out!

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SEC Football: Week Three

10-2 was my record in Week Two and the 2022 season total now stands at 24-3. That’s 89%. Oh I wish that this would be the percentage on the Monday after Thanksgiving weekend. Once the SEC begins to go head to head every week things get a wee bit more dicey. One more quick note. My lock last week, even though not designated so, was App State and the points. Thank you Mountaineers and thank you Jimbo! Why dally around? Let the prognostications begin!

Georgia (-24.5) at South Carolina

The new number one team in the country waltzes into Columbia after a workmanlike win over Samford. Bulldogs over Bull pups as it were. Mayo Man Beamer is cock-a-doodle doing along pretty darn well as head ball coach at South Carolina. Buster Brown Smart ain’t doing much dumb in Athens either. The Dawgs look ferocious at this early juncture, Anyone can be had. That’s not gonna happen Satday at noon (ET) though. Georgia 38, USC East 17.

Youngstown State at Kentucky (-25.5)

Ding ding ding! Taco time! (No winners last week). Name the visiting squads mascot. Without looking, Googling, etc., of course. Very nice win down in the Swamp last week, brother Stoops! Yo Cats were my second choice as the lock last weekend. Plus 4.5. Boom! Knock em out John! Errr… Mark! Youngstown is 2-0 and playing good ball. The Bourbon and Bluegrass Boys are playing sho nuff good. Another nooner here. Ranked in the Top Ten… Kentucky 35, Youngstown State 13

Abilene Christian at Missouri (-33)

Abilene might not feel so Christian after what looks to be a thrashing coming its way in another 12 PM kickoff. Remember ET, the Wildcats also might want to phone home, collect, at around 3:30 PM. Kansas State beat the snot out of Eli’s Kitties in its last game. The Columbia, Mo betters will rebound with a vic’try. “Abilene, Abilene, prettiest town that I’ve ever seen. Women there don’t treat you mean…” Really? do they elsewhere? Missouri 40, Abilene Christian 17.

Ole Miss (-16.5) at Georgia Tech

“Oh if I had a daughter sir I’d dress her in white and gold, and take her to the campus sir to cheer the brave and bold…” What a great fight song! “Like all other jolly good fellows I drink my whiskey clear…” Do they mean the whiskey itself is clear or do they mean they kill it in one long swallow? Anyhow, the Yellow Jacket alumni might drink it any way they can get it come Saturday night. Popcorn Kiffin and his Rebel Black Bears will take the sting out of Buzz. Ole Miss 34, Georgia Tech 17.

Vanderbilt at Northern Illinois (-2.5)

WHOA!!! The Huskies are favored and the Dores have a 66.2 chance to win, says BSPN. Say whaaaaat? Tweetie is confused. I find that is not uncommon when one has just begun decade number 8 on this beautiful blue marble. I don’t have time to sort all this. Coach Clark Lea! Damn the torpedoes! Vanderbilt 31, Northern Illinois 28.

UL Monroe at Alabama (-49)

Seriously?

UL Monroe at Alabama (-49.5)

See! Even when I tried to “decline”, it raised the line and hit me again. OK! I’ll pick it! Dang! Terry (Maybe more Buster Brown than Kirby) Bowden leads the Warhawks into Bryant-Denny Stadium to take on the shaken and stirred Crimpson Tide. In Saban’s first year at the Capstone, 2007, UL Monroe bested Bama. The next Auburn game we attended, after that upset, I saw a couple of students wearing Warhawks t-shirts. I saw Bama fans sporting Oregon regalia when the Tigers played the Ducks in the BCS Championship game. I don’t really care. Alabama 56, UL Monroe 9.

Mississippi State (-2.5) at LSU

Brian “Batman” Kelly and the Tiguz rebounded nicely against Southern, their crosstown “rivals”. The Pirate has found his footing in StarkVegas, Kelly has not done so in Red Stick. He probably will at some point. But I hope he takes a few classes at the Arthur Murray School of Dance first. Mike Leach told a story about going to the Flora-Bama Lounge when queried as to where the best party was that he ever attended. Will Rogers WILL carve up the Bayou Bengals’ secondary like a Thanksgiving turkey. Miss State 33, LSU 28.

Missouri State at Arkansas (-23)

Guess who the head coach is at MO State? No tacos on this little jewel. Jeopardy theme plays. BUZZZZZ!!! Ready for this? Bobby Petrino. You can’t make this stuff up. Insert Harley joke here. About 50 jokes popped into my head when I read this in prepping for the game. The thing is, ol’ Easy Rider has built an FCS championship contender down in Springfield. I spent a few weeks in Springfield back in my AAA days. It’s where cashew chicken was invented. At a Leong’s Restaurant. It was delicious! No, the Cashew Chickens is not the teams nickname. Taco time! You guess what the nickname is and a couple of carne asada tacos are yours! I like mine with soft flour tortillas, cilantro, lime, and salsa. Pigs 42, Pollos 16.

Akron at Tennessee (-47.5)

Seriously Deux?

Akron at Tennessee (-47.5)

(In my best Ronnie Reagan voice) Well,there you go again. Can’t decline. Must pick. Waste of time but it pads my stats. Same thing for The Corn Cobbers. Tennessee 55, Zips zip

South Florida at Florida (-24)

From the land of Tom Petty. An oh so dear friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, has a sister who dated Tom Petty way back in the day. God bless her and God bless Tom Petty. He is missed by so many. My favorite song of his is ‘You Don’t Know How It Feels (To Be Me)’. Speaking of music, The Boss’s ‘From Small Things Mama (Big Things One Day Come)’ is playing at full volume on my Sirius/XM Deep Tracks station right now… Pause to sing and play air guitar… Back to the Swamp. Florida 41, South Florida 20.

Miami at Texas A&M (-6)

The Hurricanes and Aggies. Hurricanes are good drinks and Aggies are good folks. Jimbo has an $86.5 million buyout. No need for one, at least in the immediate future. Who knows by season’s end. I thought I talked with great rapidity. Jimbo talks faster than a used car salesman on meth. One can procure a great deal of methamphetamine for $86.5 mill. I have a couple of meth stories. I will not share them here. I will tell you, in person, if you desire to hear such foolishness. SMH. My lock!!! Miami 23, Texas A&M 21

And now boys and girls! The Big Kahuna!

Penn State (-3) at Auburn

You can sub this contest for my “lock” if you like. The Nittany Lions trip to the Plains has been circled on thousands of Auburn fans’ calendars since the 2021 game’s completion. It will be the first game Me and Paul shall attend here in 2022. I am ready. All Auburn fans are ready. As I posted on Facebook, “White out, smite out, Orange Out At Jordan-Hare Saturday, WDE!!!” Hooooweeee!!! I hope the hospitable PSU fans have a most enjoyable trip except for three plus hours of burning hell on Saturday afternoon. This is the first time a Big Ten team has visited Jordan-Hare since 1931 when our boys took on the Wisconsin Badgers. AU has to run and stop the run, of course. It also MUST put pressure on QB Sean Clifford and get some good coverage from the secondary. If Mercer and San Jose State can throw the ball that well, think about what a sixth year senior and a talented team like Penn State could do. Auburn has four turnovers on the young season and has created… zero. That cannot continue. I do think the Tigers will play with great ferocity, passion, and intensity. I think they will get a couple of turnovers. I also believe Tank, Jarquez Hunter, and company will tote the rock quite well. T.J. has to be on the money. Ashford needs to have some nice plays. The sideline has to be better, as well. Coach em up!!! I’m feeling better about it as the kickoff draws nearer. The final nail in the coffin? Daniel Carlson. Auburn 26, Penn State 24.

No one garnered tacos last week. I hope to have a winner or two in Week Three. It should be a beautiful weekend for football in the SEC. Ya’ll enjoy the games. As Hillbilly Jim closes with on his show on Outlaw Country, “I ain’t here for a long time, I’m here for a good time”. Well, that’s close.

Take care out there. Tip your servers, and be sure to love your neighbor. Peace out.

Photo courtesy of Pexels free photos.

SEC Football: Week Two (2022 CE)

Dear diary. Wait! Wrong mode.

Welcome college football fans! That’s “butter”, as Gus used to say. It’s time to pick some Southeastern Conference gridiron games and you have landed on THE spot to do so while having a whole lotta fun in the process. Let us roll!

Week One and Week Zero (there we go with that head scratcher of a way to identify the grand opening of this great sport) saw your swami correctly assess 14 out of 15 contests for a .933 pct. How bout dem apples? Only LSWho let us down in her loss to The Semi-Holes. No problem. Let’s boogie!

Alabama (-20) at Texas.

In 1991 my son, Luke, and I took a road trip to Austin, TX. Auburn was 2-0 and highly ranked. The Horns were 1-1. I had heard about what a great atmosphere it was deep in the heart of Texas. Also what a special moment it was when the crowd stood and sang “The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You”, accompanied by the marching band. I was ready. Well, that moment came and went and was, honestly, a bit of a let down. In fact, that was one of the three or four least intimidating atmospheres I have ever experienced, and I’ve been to a boatload of college football games, from Berkeley, CA to Boston Mass. The crowd might be more up in arms over this one but it won’t faze the Crimpson Tide. Alabama 42, Texas 17.

South Carolina at Arkansas (-8)

It was a nice, hard fought win last Satday in Fayetteville as Coach Sam (Cold Beer) Pittman’s Piggies defeated Coach Luke Fickell’s Cincinnati Bearcats. Now Coach Shane (Mayo) Beamer heads for the Ozark’s with his contingent of angry Cocks. Feathers will fly and the Roosters will crow but the hometown Hawgs will topple the visitors from Columbia, SC. Arkansas 34, South Carolina 20.

Wake Forest (-12.5) at Vanderbilt

Vandy has gotten pretty cocky themselves with a shiny 2-0 record and have scored a heap of points in doing so. There’ll be a lot of action down on Broadway in the NashVegas honky tonks, with consumers paying that 23% added tax on wine on liquor by the glass. Let’s be honest. Ol’ Dudley Field won’t be rocking’ raucously. The Demon Deacon fans will be praying for a victory and the Dores fans will show up late and leave early. This could be a decent little football game. 23rd ranked Wake has too much firepower in the end. Wake Forest 42, Vanderbilt 24.

Missouri at Kansas State (-7.5)

The wagering seems to be trending toward the Tigers and the points for showtime at Bill Snyder Family Stadium. We traveled to watch Auburn beat the Kitties there in 2014. Great people and a heckuva good atmosphere. This un is a Big Twelve rematch from days gone by. Eli’s coming and the Manhattan welcome wagon will be waiting. In a dandy! Kansas State 34, Missouri 28.

Appalachian State at Texas A&M (-19)

The line has actually risen from 18 to 19 on the Aggies in an intriguing matchup of Power Five vs. Group of Five. Which five do you like? That’s what I thought! The Power! Me too! No brainer! The Mountaineers will give Jimbo’s boys all that can handle though. Should be fun! Texas A&M 35, App State 23.

Tennessee (-6) at Pitt

Live on ABC from the land of three rivers. Taco Time! Can you name those three where the waters flow free? Hint. An Oak Ridge Boys tune. Huh? Pat Narduzzi will have armed Pitt with the necessary weapons. Will it be enough to pull off the upset? Maybe. But I don’t think so. The Smoky, Rocky Topping, Corn Cobbers have plenty in its arsenal. That will be enough to vault them to a conquest over the Panthers. Tennessee 38, Pitt 30.

Samford at Georgia (-52)

Dawgs versus Dawgs. That is absolutely where a favorable comparison of these teams ends. Haw!!! The Baptist Boys from Birmingham have zero (yeah, old naught again) chance ‘Twixt The Hedges’ and Buster Brown’s Brigades. Nada, Zilch. Okay, you get the message. Here comes a ‘number six’! Georgia 63, Samford Zero. Zilch. Nada.

Kentucky at Florida (-6)

Billy Napier’s Water Lizards are a bit sassy after scraping by a very much overrated Utah team. Mark Stoops’ Felines certainly won’t run all over the Swampers (“Muscle Shoals has got the…”). Leading rusher Chris Rodriguez is not expected to play for the Cats. Yet, a donnybrook is in the making. Florida 28, Kentucky 24.

Central Arkansas at Ole Miss (-34)

Taco Time Two! Can you name Central Arky’s nickname without looking? These are all no lookers. Therein lies the fun! My Trojans gave a valiant effort at Vaught-Hemingway this past weekend. It’s not that I expect the visitors to spend all day in The Grove and play drunk. They simply do not have a chance. Ok, a 0.9% chance according to BSPN. Ole Miss 48, Central Arkansas 0.

Southern at LSU (-47.5)

It’s not like Southern is AT at LSU. Both schools call Red Stick home. The Tiguz did not look good in the Big Easy opener with Florida State. That last drive almost saw some of that famous Voodoo assist LSU to an improbable TD. But alas! A blocked PAT gave the Tallahassee gang the win. The “visiting” Jaguars can block all seven of the homey’s extra points and still lose by a hefty margin. Let’s say they do. LSU 45, Southern 6.

Mississippi State (-11) at Arizona (“Hey won’t you go my way…”)

The late great Mel Tillis once crooned, on a tune taken from Clint Eastwood’s movie ‘Every Which Way But Loose’, “Go on and send me down to Tucson and I’ll get the job done…”. Speaking of Mel Tillis. The first show I saw in Branson, when I was assigned the Western TN/KY, Southern MO, and all of Arkansas territory when working for AAA, was at ol’ Mel’s theater. After an opening song or two, he began the introduction segment of the show by saying, “I’m P P P P P Pam’s daddy.” Dude could sing! The Pirate and his Bullpups, lead by QB Will Rogers, Lord there’s another sidebar, WILL take a “W” back to StarkVegas. Miss State 38, Arizona 21.

San Jose State at Auburn (-23)

Our Tigers had their moments in the opener with Mercer. Another Baptist school. Somebody liable to get wet! Rain is in the forecast. “Dunk em Tigers just like preachers!” And then give em “hell”. Well, we did hear a heap about Hades growing up. But As Karl told Vaughn in ‘Slingblade’, “I don’t think you ‘re going to ‘Hadis’.” Neither am I. Nor neither are you. But I digress into the theological. The Spartans are coming to Jordan-Hare on Pat Dye Field Saturday night. ‘Neath the glistening skies! “Some people call it a slingblade, I call it a Kaiser blade.” I’ve done the Dionne Warwick song reference before in evaluating a contest involving San Jose State.It’s a tried and true one. “I’ve been away so long.” Silicon Valley. Yadda yadda yadda. I saw Willie Nelson, in the round no less, in San Jose back in ’87. Lord! The ramblings of an old man. Auburn 37, Sn Jose State 17.

Our taco winners last week were Claudia Swift and Ed “The Bear” Starkie. Two of my favorite folks! Let’s hope we have more winners this round. I hope we have winners every week. We’ll just have a taco fest somewhere. Maybe throw in some chips and salsa, as well as your favorite beverages and some sopapillos!

Love y’all! Safe travels and love your neighbor! Peace out.

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SEC Football: Week One (2022 AD)

So, how was Week Zero for you? Weak? That’s what I thought. I have come to bring you good news of glad tidings and great joy! There are 14 SEC football games coming to you you over the next four days, and we here at Bird’s Banter are prepared to share our prognostications to one and all so that ye might find treasures and riches galore. Once again, we provide you the winners. It’s your job to find them. (And again, $1 to Jeff Shultz for that wee morsel of truth.)

Onward and upward my fellow gazers of the gridiron! The games are listed in the order in which they will be played. Movin’ On…

Ball State at Tennessee (-35.5)

Do it to it like Sonny Pruitt! (You must pay attention to the references. That’s half the fun!) He of 18 wheeler fame is the proper example of gittin’ er dun! And ex Vol head man, Jeremy Pruitt is not. “At McDonald’s, we do it all for you.” Dave Letterman’s alma mater stands zero, there’s that dang word again, chance of defeating the hometown Corn Cobbers. Actually, it stands a 4.9% chance of toppling the Rockies according to BSPN. Tennessee 52, Ball State 6.

LA Tech at Missouri (-20.5)

The second of two SEC Thursday night clashes. Now, this one could get very interesting. If Eli (has a) Drinkwitz you before the game then the Rustonites could pull of the first big shocker of the weekend. No, Northwestern’s upset of the Huskers, speaking of corn, was pretty much expected by this fearless forecaster. I said hello country bumpkin, Scott Frost’s butt is on the stumpkin. Yep! No false Natties to claim in Lincoln. Buh bye! Anyhoo… Missouri 37, LA Tech 24.

Sam Houston at Texas A&M (-29.5)

“Jimbo Jimbo!” That was a quote of Terry Bowden summoning Coach Fisher on the headset during Auburn’s 1993 National Championship season. Some source(s) did declare it! I claim it! (Hey! This is FREE!) Just like JJ and Joe Willie say! Back to College Station. I don’t know why the Aggies continue to get so much love each passing year in the preseason. Show me! Naw, that’s MIzzou. Name Sammy Houston’s mascot with proper spelling, without looking, and you win one free taco the next time we bump into each other. At what other site do they just give away free food? Homeys cover. Texas A&M 42, Sam Houston 7.

Oregon vs. Georgia (-17) in Hotlanta

The defending National Champions (“We ain’t defending nuthnin'”. Oh yes you is!) take on former UGA defensive coordinator Dan Lanning’s West Coast Groovies (Follow the references).Teacher/pupil, blah blah blah. Former Auburn Tiger Bo Nix is QB1 in Eugene. Oh Karma where art thou? Buster Brown has “elite” talent across the board. The Ducks will quack loudly for a bit. Pups have too much talent and firepower in this “neutral site” game. (Remember Legion Field!) I hope you don’t tire of parenthetical phrases. Tweetie loves em! Georgia 31, Oregon 20.

Cincinnati at Arkansas (-6.5)

Potential upset alert but I doubt it. Fun no less. The Beatles White Album song just raced and snorted across my aging mind. Remember Leather (Tusc)adero on Happy Days? More tacos if you can name the actors/singer who played her. Hawgs lost a few guys but ol’ Sam Pittman is getting there. Remember the visitors to Northwest Arky? The last time we saw them they were the Group of Five sacrificial lamb to the SEC Champions/eventual national runner up to Spanky and his gang. Arkansas 28, Cincinnati 24.

Troy at Ole Miss (-22.5)

Just spent three days with seven of my former Troy State Lambda Chi fraternity brothers at the Fourth Annual Gathering of the Cracker Box Buds. (See Steve Straughn for moniker explanation. He is our host extraordinaire and truly one of the good guys. As are all the buds). We spoke of this game and what a great road trip it would be. “Oxfud” would “nevuh” be the same. We might not bring it with the same ferocity as we did in the early to mid seventies, but there remains some fire in the bellies. Long live bourbon, bushwhackers, and beer! And NSAIDS!!! Stop there Bird! Oh for the Trojan upset. LSU Deux? ‘Friad not. Black Bear Land Sharks 35, T-Roy 14.

Utah (-3) at Florida

An SEC the underdog at home on opening day to a PAC-12 sissy??!! How dare you suh?! Da Utes won the conference in 2021 and are favored to do the same thing in 2022. Dandy Dan Mullen is gone. “Tuesday’s Gone, keep up!, with the wind.” Introducing former Louisiana Ragin Cajuns head coach, Billy Napier. He should restore law, order, and respectability to the Gainesville Water Lizards, although that might not occur fully in 2022. I haven’t heard much out of the “Head ball Coach” lately. Ye? In a mild upset/squeaker… Florida 24, Utah 23.

Miami Ohio at Kentucky (-16)

The sun shines bright in Lexington after the second 10 win season under Mark Stoops. Hats off to the Cats boss. Well, maybe except for John “Whine” Calamari. A hotbed of MAC coaching travels to Lexington for a whuppin’. Enjoy the bourbon and bluegrass! Kentucky 38, Miami Ohio 10.

Elon at Vanderbilt (-19)

Who the Sam Hill is Elon? Elon, among other fine things, was where my former colleague, and friend, Jan Fuller, was a chaplain until very recently when she retired. She was in campus ministry at Yale when I was doing the same at SUNY Albany in the capital of New York. “Those were the days, my friend, we thought they’d never end…” Very good times in the mid eighties. That’s where I developed my addiction to Buffalo wings. We are returning to NY and New England for fall foliage in October. Paul retired June 1. “Look out mama there’s a white boat coming up the river…” I digress. More tacos for Elon’s nickname! Vanderbilt 45, Elon 10.

Utah State at Aaaaaaaalabama (-41.5)

A forty plus point favorite over a team that was ranked last season. And Nickidemus just signed an extension. Dear 9 lb 11 oz baby Jesus, please let coach Saban, who we all just love so much, retire very soon. We would like to play with the football too.

Love, Tweetie.

P.S. And please bring me an electric football game and a Tucker Frederickson jersey for Christmas.

Alabama 49, Utah State 3

Memphis at Mississippi State (-16)

I can’t remember who the head coach is at Memphis. Y’all? I can remember how much I love the ribs at Rendezvous and the house band at the Rum Boogie Cafe on Beale Street. My friend Tom Kimmel married the outstanding young woman who is now the pastor at the First Baptist Church of Memphis. Great BBQ, great preaching, and great music! Can’t beat it. But the game is being played in StarkVegas. What they got good to eat there? And music? And where is the Jesus hookup? Hey! This could be a good game. Or not. Pirate wins.They did have a Ruby Tuesday the last time I was in the City of Bully Dogs. “Who could hang a name on you?” Miss State 35, Memphis 17.

Georgia State at South Carolina (-12.5)

The Downtown ATL Panthers do not resemble the Carolina or Pittsburgh teams of the same nickname. Or do they? They almost beat Auburn last year. That was the emergence of T.J. Finley. AU QB numero uno. More on that later. The Cocks will rise to the occasion and defend the Columbia home turf well. Shane Beamer’s guys won the Duke’s Mayo Bowl last year. He was covered in the outstanding condiment after the game. Folks, I don’t make this stuff up. I’ll be 70 years old Saturday. I have seen the game I know and love so passionately evolve. Would that be that word? No no no! I have seen it Devolve. SMH. South Carolina 33, Georgia State 21.

Florida State at LSU (-3)

Jay-Sus! Can we get to the Auburn game??? Did y’all see new LSU top dog Brian Kelly doing the Batman dance behind one of the guys he was recruiting? Lights flashing, et al. Vincent Vega he ain’t. Bad at mocking a Cajun accent as well. A former Memphis head coach, Mike Norvell, now leads the Semi-Holes. I wonder if he ever went to Corky’s or the Rum Boogie Cafe? I don’t know if he can dance or talk Native American, but I know the great countrysiner-songwriter John Anderson had a big hit with Seminole Wind. Great song! Tempted to call an upset. But Tiguz win and cover. LSU 28, FSU 21.

And finally!

Mercer at Auburn (-31.5)

Saved my boys for last even though it ‘s out of order in terms of when the games are played. T.J., as aforementioned, is the man. Bryan Harsin has been separating the wheat from the chaff and the man who hired him is gone. And some folks wanted Harsin gone. Sometimes I get so damn mad at what goes on at one of my three alma maters I could scream. But she’s mine and I love her (Beatles song reference). My .02? Harsin is a badass. Leave him alone and he will get this thing on track. Auburn will surprise people this season. In a good way. The first five games are at home. There is a distinct possibility of entering October at 5-0. There is talent and pretty good depth on this Lee County aggregation. Tank is primed for a massive year. The D is looking really good. The hunger is there in spades. The chip is planted squarely on the shoulder. Beware all ye who enter here! WDE! Auburn 44, Mercer 14.

So there you have it! Whew! We’re at 100% with the Commodores opening shellacking in Week Zero!

Y’all have a fantastic Labor Day weekend! Be safe! And as always, love your neighbor! Peace out!

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