SEC Football: Week 13 Picks

I just lost my opening paragraph, again, when I thought I “saved draft” on my computer. I’ve been starting these masterpieces (LOL!!!) on my phone in many instances this 2021 college football season. The computer has been more reliable in saving the blasted things but it certainly did not cooperate this time. So, now, these words constitute my opening paragraph. Speaking of not cooperating. Many years ago, 1988 maybe, I heard Melodye and Leah going at it in Leah’s room one morning before school. The typical wrangle over what Leah wanted to wear. Things quieted down a bit before I heard this shout of declaration, “I will cooperate! I will cooperate!” Wise choice of words darling daughter. Miss Mel has a very long fuse, but when said fuse is burned to a nub, you done went and did it. I tend to have a very, very long fuse when it comes to Auburn coaches. The next game I coach will be my first. I have no idea of the complexity of the intricacies these gents deal with and I cannot imagine the pressure that they operate under. That being said… Well, I’ll just leave it at that for now.

Ole Miss (-2) at Mississippi State

First game of “Rivalry Week.” Ye olde Egg Bowl. I forgot the origin of how this game came to be know as the Egg Bowl. I do know it can get really nasty when these two go at each other. And now, with Kiffin and Leach, we have ourselves a full blown circus. Ah! The potential quotes just waiting to be verbalized! And a tough one to pick. Home team? Highest ranked team? Both teams can sling it around with the best of them. Will Rogers, great philosopher and grassroots statesman. Matt Corral, no shootout at the OK, and no wisecracks like Doc Holiday, but quite the gunslinger. I think State has the better defense. That, coupled with the home field advantage, moves the needle to… Miss State 34, Ole Miss 31.

Missouri at Arkansas (-14.5)

Tigers and Tusks. Live from beautiful Fayetteville, AR. And they have a Friday time slot. Should be another entertaining test. Piggies are 7-4 and ranked number 25 in some poll. If it’s not the CFP poll then it’s, basically, irrelevant. Hey! Eli’s coming with a bowl eligible 6-5 team. The visitors can pull even with Sam Pittman’s crew, record wise, if they can pull the upset. I have a story about going to one of those huge honky tonks that used to be prevalent across the nation’s landscape many years ago. I’ve been to Billy Bob’s Texas on multiple occasions. I went to one somewhere in Silicon Valley before it REALLY became Silicon Valley. It was the largest one west of the Mississippi, so I was told. That was 1993. Anyway, I was at the one that was popular in Fayetteville, Arky in ’94 or ’95. It was ok except for the line dancing, which I truly loathed back then, and still do. I’ll relay the story at a later date. The home team will be doing the dancing in the locker room Friday. Arkansas 38, Missouri 24.

Georgia (-35) at Georgia Tech

First game of the day! Nick nick nick! A game? Really. The Bees lost 55-Zippo to the Fighting Irish last week. I don’t expect anything radically different Satday. Grant Field. Legion Field. Sally Fields. No matter. You know the line in I’m A Rambling Wreck From Georgia Tech? “Like all other jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear.” That is my advice to the supporters of the North Street boys. Start early and finish late. It will all be over before dark. And how about TWO italicized lines in this blurb? Georgia 49. Georgia Tech 3.

Florida State at Florida (-2.5)

Just like last week. Water Lizards favored!? Again, somebody in Vegas is drunk. Dapper Dan could be. He’s free and easy with his buyout and Darth Vader outfit. Eli Drinkwitz (you) trolled Danny Boy pretty good with his Star Wars outfit and this comment. “My father is a farmer and there’s an old saying that you reap what you sow. If you sow kindness, you reap kindness. If you sow jackass, you reap jackass.” Wise words. You might want to take them to heart Dan-0. Noles will drain the Swamp. Florida State 31, Florida 27.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee (-31.5)

That’s a big ole line. The Dores have been getting pretty frisky lately. I don’t know if the Rocky Toppers can lay it on that thick. Ok, they can lay it on that thick. But will they? Nope. Tennessee 45, Vanderbilt 20.

Texas A&M (-6.5) at LSU

Red Stick in the evening. Upset? Maybe. Yaw Yaw remains the coach. Jimbo is, most assuredly, a better coach. And I do believe that the Aggies are a better team. The air will be wafting the smells of bourbon, corn dogs and gumbo. What a trifecta! The guys from Texas play better defense and, well, better offense. It all adds up to… Texas A&M 28, LSU 17.

Clemson (-11.5) at South Carolina

Will Roosterville be as rude to Dabo’s minions as it was to Harsin’s gang? The Felines have been playing well of late, as have the Fowl. Clempson certainly has the better team. I thought Auburn did too. No to the Tigers last week. Yes this week. Clemson 27, South Carolina 17.

Kentucky at Louisville (-3)

Is the Cardinals stadium still Papa John’s Palace or whatever it was? The pizza is falling out of the sky! The pizza is falling out of the sky! ($1 to Larry Munson.) Cats have the better record but they sure have been stumbling around here in the mid to late autumn. They have rebounded from that three game losing streak to pound a couple of much lesser opponents. The Redbirds have also walloped their last two lesser opponents. Home field advantage looks good from here. Extra cheese and pepperoni, if you will. Papa John’s or no Papa John’s. Louisville 24, Kentucky 21.

Alabama (-19.5) at Auburn

I love reading that. AT AUBURN. At Auburn has been very good to the Tigers in Jordan-Hare. They are 10-5 here versus the Crimson Tide. Strange things have happened during this game at Jordan-Hare, also. There is most definitely some mojo for the home team in this venue. I’ve never seen anything like it. Folks can talk about any other rivalry that they care to, and none of them come close to what has been dubbed The Iron Bowl. This will be my 41st Auburn-Alabama game to attend. I prefer that to Iron Bowl. (Having more fun with italics.) Alabama has the better team. And that point is enhanced by Auburn losing Bo Nix, Anders Carlson and Owen Pappoe to injuries. Part of the game boys and girls. All of that puts the visitors at a distinct advantage. It would take a monumental effort form Finley, Tank and the others on offense. The defense would have to play lights completely out and have Bryce Young running for his life. I think some of that will happen but not enough to put Auburn over the top. Alabama 34, Auburn 20.

Auburn also kept me from having a perfect tally last week. I was 9-1 and that upset did me in. Please fool me again this week Tigers! How did President W put it? “Fool me once. Fool me twice. Fool me with some beans and rice.” I don’t know. I’m 81-23 on the year and that is a .778 pct. No more locks. Done with that, although I do like Leach’s squad and the points. Go eat some turkey. Have you a tasty beverage. Live out of gratitude. Be careful. Shake a tail feather. And love thy neighbor. Peace out!


SEC Football: Week 12 Picks

Oops! It is almost 6:00 PM ET and I forgot to do my picks. Getting old is, well, you know the drill, getting old. We’ve got Auburn basketball at 7 o’clock, so, boys and girls. You are going to get an abbreviated version of SEC Football Picks this week. When you see the slate of games you’ll be happy things turned out that way. Onward!

Charleston Southern at Georgia (No line)

Dawgs by 49

Prairie View at Texas A&M (No line)

Aggies by 45

Tennessee State at Mississippi State (No line)

SEC Officials Favorite Team by 50

New Mexico State at Kentucky (-36)

Cats by 38

South Alabama at Tennessee (-28)

Corn Cobs by 30

UL Monroe at LSU (-29)

Kitties by 31

Now we get into some serious SEC football.

Arkansas at Alabama (-20.5)

This could be a very good ballgame for a spell. The Pigs come to play. Alabama is pretty good at this too. The Tide will ultimately roll. Alabama 35, Arkansas 17

Florida (-8.5) at Missouri

The Water Lizards are favored. Somebody’s drunk in Vegas. Eli should have a Drinkwitz him. Missouri 42, Florida 35

Auburn (-7.5) at South Carolina

Somebody got sober in Vegas. T.J. Finley is ready to roll and will have a solid game. Auburn needs redemption in the worst kind of way. It should find that in Columbia, SC. Auburn 31, South Carolina 21

Vanderbilt at Ole Miss (-36.5)

Whassup with all the .5’s? Geez! The Grove Gang puts a drubbing on the Anchormen. Ole Miss 45, Vanderbilt 13

Was really hoping for a perfect record last week but the two Mississippi teams screwed that up royally. 6-2 on the week. Forgot to pick a lock. Failing miserably in my life as a thief. The season tally now is 72-22. That be a pct. of .765. Be safe. Love thy neighbor as thyself. Next week is Rivalry Week! YeeeHaaaw! “She played tambourine with a silver jingle and she must have known the words to at least a million tunes…”

SEC Football: Week 11 Picks

Here we are at Week 11 of NCAA football. In less than two weeks we’ll eating turkey and giving thanks. The giving thanks is the most important of the two. The great Ray Wylie Hubbard wrote in one of his songs, “And the days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days.” May it be so. Last week was a bit of a struggle in the ole pickin’ department. I was 4-3 and I also missed my lock, Auburn +4.5 at A&M. That makes me 5-4 in the locks category. My season record is 66-20 and that comes to a pct. of .767. Come on! Let’s hit 90% this round!

New Mexico State at Alabama (-51.5)

I think we would all enjoy this game more if it were in Las Cruces, the home of the Aggies. It is absolutely beautiful out there in southern New Mexico. No offense to those who love T-Town. Bend over and grab your ankles, NMS. Alabama 49, New Mexico State 3.

Mississippi State at Auburn (-5.5)

Both this one and the Bama game are nooners ET. Fine. AU returns to the friendly confines of Jordan-Hare Stadium. It won’t rock like it does at night but the crowd will still be a factor. The O line, along with Bo Nix and company will be serious about some redemption. The D will do a good enough job against Mike Leach’s Air Raid offense. Auburn 28, Miss State 20.

Samford at Florida (No line)

No pole. Therefore we cannot go down to the crawdad hole. The Baptist boys from Birmingham will wish they had gone fishing once Dapper Dan’s crew is finished with them. Dan needs the reprieve badly. His fanny is hotter than (you fill in the blank). Florida 45, Samford 10.

Georgia (-20) at Tennessee

I’m watching Tim Tebow with Paul Finebaum, on Pawl’s show, as I type this on my phone. Tim was making a case that Tennessee could win if certain things fall the Vols’ way. As my son, Luke would say, ”No.” Georgia 35, Tennessee 17.

South Carolina (-1) at Missouri

How bout dem Cocks?! They put a whoopin’ on Dapper Dan’s Water Lizards last week. Haw! It’ll be a scrap between Beamer’s Roosters and Drinkwitz (you’s) Felines. The line strongly suggests this. Might be one of the best games of the day. Missouri 31, South Carolina 27.

Texas A&M (-2.5) at Ole Miss

Another potential dandy! Jimbo was pissin’ and moanin’ about Auburn players simulating his team’s precious snap counts. Really! He whined about Dameyune Craig stealing FSU’s signals in the BCS National Championship Game. Craig was on the FSU staff the previous year. Shut up and and take your wins graciously Butthead. I wish Lane would hang 50 on you. No such luck. Texas A&M 28, Ole Miss 24.

Kentucky (-21.5) at Vanderbilt

The Cats lost a heartbreaker to the up and coming Rock Toppers last Satday. Said Cats will not have that happen two weeks running. The Anchormen, $1 to Will Ferrell. I have a Will Ferrell encounter story I’ll tell next week. Gotta keep the hook in y’all to stay with me. $1 to Rod Stewart. But no story of me and Rod. Back to the point. The Anchormen will put up a fight early, but the Bluegrass boys will pull away in the second half. Kentucky 35, Vanderbilt 13.

Arkansas (-2.5) at LSU

Mercy! $1 to Roy Orbison. I’m going broke handing out all these George Washingtons! Anyhoo, there will likely be many a pretty woman at Tiger Stadium Satday night. Can’t pull the mild upset trigger on this one. Arkansas 30, LSU 23.

Y’all enjoy the clashes this week! Having to sell my tickets again. Still can’t make the long walks it takes to attend a game on the Plains. Going in two weeks if I have to go on crutches. Iron Bowl baby! But, there is the matter of one more “regular” week in 2021 before we get to “Rivalry Week.” See you right here next Friday! Enjoy life and love your neighbor! Peace out!

SEC Football: Week 10 Picks

It’s time to separate the men from the boys, the contenders from the pretenders, in the SEC and across the entire college football landscape. Yes, we are about to enter the proverbial home stretch. Your Picker went 3-1 in Week Nine and he also hit his lock, Georgia -14 versus Florida. We’re now 5-3 in the locks category. The season record is 62-17. That is a .784 pct. My lock this week is Auburn +4.5. There are seven games involving SEC teams in Week 10. Let’s decipher these tests.

Missouri at Georgia (-39.5)

This one is not even fair. The guys at the Alamo had a better chance than the visitors from Columbia, MO have twixt the hedges Satday. The only decision Kirby has to make is whether to bake, broil or fry Eli’s bunch. The Tigers head coach will certainly want to have a Drinkwitz someone when this shellacking is completed. Georgia 52, Missouri 10.

Liberty at Ole Miss (-9.5)

Well well well. Liberty head coach Hugh Freeze returns to the scene of the crimes in one of the more interesting battles of the weekend. Storylines abound! If the Flames were to pull off the upset, ol’ Hugh might have to be, ahem, “escorted” off the field at the game’s conclusion, and not in the manner to which he is accustomed. Lane should have his Train on track and the hometown heroes return to their winning ways. In a shootout. Ole Miss 45, Liberty 37.

Auburn at Texas A&M (-4.5)

The CBS feature game of the week. That feature game comes with one major caveat. Our favorite color commentator, Gary Danielson, will be in the booth. Enjoy! Auburn can take a huge step in the quest toward Hotlanta, so can the Aggies. The Tigers remain in the hunt if they cannot topple A&M. The home team is, essentially, eliminated if it loses. Big fat game! The old mantra, run the ball and stop the run, is, again, applicable here. I think Auburn will be able to do that better than than Jimbo’s troops. I also think Bo Nix will be the X factor that helps Coach of the Year candidate, Bryan Harsin, secure his seventh win of the season. Auburn 27, Texas A&M 23.

Mississippi State at Arkansas (-4.5)

Our third doozy in a row as we work our way down the Week 10 picks. Coach Mike “Pirate” Leach’s Pups continue to find their footing in the Air Raid offense and they aren’t bad on defense either. Pittman’s Pigs are also a solid squad, as well. This one could easily go either way and I’ll have to give the nod to the Razorbacks as they hold the home team advantage. Arkansas 28, Miss State 24.

LSU at Alabama (-28.5)

The Bayou Bengals have become purring, docile kitties. They would be better off with a forfeit. That score would only be 2-0. But they have to travel all the way to Tuscaloosa, get humiliated, and return to Red Stick (Wouldn’t that be a good title for something? A book, a movie, a doggie fetch show maybe?) Return To Red Stick, starring the deposed Ed “Coach O” Oregon, with co-star Nick “Aflac” Saban. True story. A Bama “fan” called into Finebaum the Monday after the loss to A&M and suggested that the Tide would fare much better if Saban didn’t do those commercials during halftime. You can’t make this stuff up, folks. Alabama 48, LSU 16.

Tennessee (-1) at Kentucky

Back to the “dandies”, and this should be one. The way these two teams have been trending, you would think the Vols have the upper hand. But the Felines are back home at Kroger Field and that has to be an advantage. No? Tennessee can score points in bunches. Kentucky can play some pretty salty defense. In a thriller of a tossup. Kentucky 28, Tennessee 27.

Florida (-20.5) at South Carolina

What’s up with Dapper Dan? He’s been awful testy and thin-skinned as of late. Recruiting season? Isn’t that every hour of every day Dan-o? Is he losing his team? Is he in hot water? Does he still have his shoe deal? That’s one thing that makes him dapper, along with his Clooney-esque hair gel. If the Water Lizards don’t win this week, then he could have to start peddling that stuff. “Hi! I’m Dapper Dan and I’m a Dapper Dan man!” The Roosters could make it interesting for, possibly, a good while. But I just can’t see an upset here. Florida 31, South Carolina 20.

Braves win!!! Braves win!!! Braves win!!! Wasn’t that something, folks? I watched a little bit of the parade that we didn’t dare go near Atlanta to do. The brief observations took place right here at 116. In beautiful Cherokee County, Georgia. That’s the way it’s been with football. I remain sidelined and have watched all but one Auburn game on tv. I am probable for the Mississippi State game next Satday! Until next week, exercise regularly, eat minimal amounts of sugar, do your daily devotionals, and love your neighbor. Peace out!