Monthly Archives: October 2019

Week Ten SEC Picks: The Continuing Saga of Old Yellow

Raise your hand if you thought Auburn would beat LSU if it allowed only 23 points. Ok. Yes. Ok. Thank you. Yes, I see that hand! Good! That’s a heap of folks. Well, we were WRONG! So be it. Auburn lost a football game. On the road. To the Number one team in the country. Two road losses to top ten teams. 6-2. Not bad. Ranked number 11. Very good! Goodbye, Joey Gatewood. Now, let’s move on from the past.

Last week’s 3-2 record was not what I had hoped for, either, but that’s what it was. I am now 60-16, this season, and that is a pct. of .789, or, effectively, 79%. Let’s get back over 80%!

But first, back to that 1970 something model Pontiac Astre, affectionately known as Old Yellow. We purchased Old Yellow in 1987 when we were living in Auburn at Starr’s Trailer Park. A brand spanking new double wide and we were the first to inhabit it. Right there on Opelika road and across that busy highway from the Hungry Hunter restaurant. We could walk home if we so desired. I did so desire more than once. Good idea other than having to dodge traffic.

We would take Old Yellow tailgating sometimes during the ’87-’89 seasons. Auburn won, or shared, three SEC championships those memorable years. Played in two Sugar Bowls and in the first Hall of Fame Bowl as rewards for those championship seasons. It was great fun! There’s something to be said for living in a double wide in Auburn in the late 80’s. War Eagle!

Back to Old Yellow and tailgating. The 1988 Georgia game comes to mind. I, along with my first born, Luke, took Old Yellow to our spot, near the old monkey cages, yep, that’s what I said, monkey cages, to save a place for us and our tailgating buddies. This was Friday night before the big game Saturday afternoon. We slept in her! When we had to winky tink, we would could just step outside. We also went over to the old Beard-Eaves Mausoleum, it was open then, and walk, carry on, or whatever. A handful of drunk students wandered by the car in the middle of the night. It was great fun!

The next day Auburn beat Georgia, in Vince Dooley’s last game he coached versus his alma mater. Auburn went on to win the SEC that season, but lost to Florida State in the Sugar Bowl, 13-7. We were there. In Whitey. Whitey was an ’88 Toyota Corolla Hatchback. LOVED Whitey as well. Did not love the missed interference call, committed against Freddy Weygand or the ensuing interception by Deion Sanders, who was covering Lawyer Tillman. That ended our chances to win the game. Did not love the hangover I had at the Cafe Du Monde the next morning, either.

A quick aside. That ’88 defense was as good as I’ve ever seen at Auburn, but this 2019 edition is close. Let’s see what happens in the remaining four games of the season, all of which are to be played at Jordan-Hare Stadium!

Pickin’ time! Speaking of pickers, I saw Mr. Pete Townsend a few weeks back, here in Hotlanta. and he ain’t half bad. Wish he and his pal, Roger, could be here as guests on my blog, but I guess that will have to wait.

“See me, feel me, touch me, heal me…”

I won’t get fooled again. No sir! We’re still striving for that perfect week!

Let’s roll!

In the order in which the games will be played!

Texas A&M vs. UTSA (12 PM ET on the SEC Network)

No, that’s not the University of Tennessee-San Angelo. It’s the University of Texas-San Antonio, silly rabbit! The Aggies will whup the tar (baby) out of the Alamo gang. That comes as no surprise to anyone. The College Station Kids are favored by 38. Will they cover? Will Muschamp win again? Don’t get ahead of yourself, Bird. Texas A&M 45, UTSA 10.

Georgia vs. Florida (3:30 PM on CBS)

Gary Danielson will be doing the color commentary for this game (BWAAAAHAHA! Chew on that cocktail partiers!) Brad Nessler is on the play by play. A lot of folks will be drunk down there in Jacksonville. And this will be a stemmmmwinder! Jake Fromm where art thou? Wide receivers, you just might have a lot to do with this. It will matter a great deal if Florida has its full complement of pass rushers this Satday. Dynamite Dan Mullen’s squadron is a 6.5 point underdog. Water Lizards cover AND win. Florida 23, Georgia 21.

Mississippi State vs. Arkansas (4 PM on the SEC Network)

Change channels. This here’s a YOU-gly matchup. The Piggies might cover the 7.5, but they will fall short of a vic’try. They are awful, as are the Bullies. Misery abounds. Joe Moorhead vs. Chad Morris. SMH. Miss State 27, Arkansas 21.

Tennessee vs. UAB ( 7 PM on ESPNU)

The Vowels have been hot, as of late, but they better not sleep on Bill Clark’s Blazers (nor his neck ties, nor his khakis). This will be a fine contest up on good ole Rocky Top. I voted for Clark as the FWAA Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year the past two years and he did win it in 2018. The Magic City Maulers will give Old Smoky all he can handle. Tennessee (-12.5) 30, UAB 23.

Vanderbilt vs. South Carolina (7:30 PM on the SEC Network)

Another battle of YOU-glies. (Just how in Hades did the Cocks defeat Georgia? Twixt the Hedges??) SMH deux. The game be in the Capital City of Car-o-line. Roosters favored by 15. Anchor Steams remain giddy over the Mizzou upset. Giddy won’t be the word they feel when the home town Fowls spank that Commodore fanny. South Carolina 34, Vanderbilt 14.

And now! Out of kickoff time order!

Auburn vs. Ole Miss (7 PM on ESPN proper)

Dadgummit! (Another $1 to Bobby Bowden). We ALMOST got it done. You just cannot say enough about that AU D! Day-UM! What else could one ask for? Well, four more points, I suppose. Gus Malzahn, Mr. play caller exceptionale, needs to get the blankety blank ball in the hands of Seth Williams and Anthony “Flash” Schwartz MORE OFTEN!!! and HOW often do we have to say that?! Put Bo in a better position to win. I’ll let you do the research. Research is hard. But his stats are better than Stan White’s, Jason Campbell’s, and… AND Pat Sullivan’s, as first year newbie starters. YES! That’s right! We got Boobee and D. J. as backup QB’s! Wheeeeee! But, I’m a telling’ you now. That D.J. Williams can tote the rock! Come on! Let’s go! Ok, calm down. The Fightin’ Felines rise back up!, as the Rebel Black Bears get whacked by the inhospitable hosts. Auburn (-19.5) 38, Ole Mrs. 17)

We love you! Thanks for listening! Tip your waitresses! Drive safely! AND! Take care out there and love thy neighbor as thyself! I’d like to thank King James for his version, as flawed as it is, and the good folks at Willie Nelson’s Special Reserve! War Eagle!

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SEC Week Nine Picks: Pork Skinned and Corn Dogs

Howdy howdy, there friends and neighbors, AND ALL you SEC college football fanatics! We are one wild and crazy lot!  Hooo Wee! Hit’s about to get gooooood ! (Be sure to say that last line aloud like Andy Grifith on his marvelous Ritz Cracker commercial). MmmmHmmm! Savor it! For there is about to be some savorin’ a goin’ on Satday! We got ourselves one big, fat giant game this weekend, along with a few tasty appetizers to open up your taste buds and whet your appetite for that Big One on the Bayou!

The past two weeks have seen your servant, and financial advisor, go 10-4, and that brings my record on the 2019 season to 57-14. That is a winning percentage of .802. As the season draws to a close and the games get tougher to forecast, the pct. tends to dip somewhat. But I do so want to hold it at 80% or above! Wish me luck as I dive into Saturday’s relatively small slate of games!

Let’s roll!

Alabama vs. Arkansas

After Auburn’s  fiery roasting of them Piggies out in northwest Arkansas, I don’t know what’s left of the carcass. But go ahead and break out the smokers in T-Town, as there should be a few smidgens remaining for Nick Saban’s Pachyderms. I have continued to hold out hope for Chad Morris to rebuild that program back into respectability, but the process is not going well, to say the least. The ‘Backs are 0-12 in the SEC under his leadership. Things are not improving at a rate anyone in Fayetteville can be remotely happy with. This week will, obviously,  provide not a shred of hope out in the Ozarks. Even without Tua, the Hawgs are no match, whatsoever ,for the hometown team. Alabama 42, Arkansas 14.

Kentucky vs. Missouri

Mark Stoops’ Fightin’ Felines were shutout on a miserable, wet night ’Twixt the Shrubs last Satday in Athens. The Cats might fare a wee bit better back in the friendly confines of Kroger Field, but don’t be giving the visitors any of those 10 for $10 specials to lap up on! Barry Odom’s bunch was totally embarrassed by Derrick Mason’s brainy and bright but, a bit,  thletically light, crew of Commodores. This week, I perceive that  Mizzou will rebound nicely as Kentucky continues to keep slip sliding away ($1 to Paul Simon). Missouri 27, Kentucky 17.

Mississippi State vs. Texas A&M

The Clangers had an off week to recover from their embarrassment at the hands of the Rocky Top Vowels back on October 12th. And Jeremy Pruitt’s squad did show some spunk down on The Capstone this past Satday. In the end they got second hand smoked by the Crimpson Tahd and them CEE-gars. But back to the Bullies. I cannot see the pride of StarkVegas traveling to Kyle Field and pulling off the upset in Aggieland. Jamesbo Fisher has still got a ways to go in getting things rebuilt out in Aggieland. A win this week would be another brick in that wall. All in all…Texas A&M 30, Miss State 17.

South Carolina vs. Tennessee

CAN Tennessee maintain its improvement at home? WILL Muschamp finally wind up with a blew gasket? (An aside here. Back in the late 80’s, we were living in Auburn when our DEE-luxe 1970 something Pontiac Astre went to a smokin’ and a belchin’ and gave up the ghost. The friendly folks at the Gulf station in downtown Auburn told us, “It looks like you got a blew gasket.” I certainly had no idea what color a gasket was, but I knew it sounded like trouble. (The Sherlock of automobile malfunctions that I am). Let’s revert our thoughts back to the business at hand, a pigskin clash in Knoxville, TN! (Speaking of blew. Coarch Muschamp thought them zebras blew a few too many whistles in beautiful Columbia, SC Satday, didn’t he? HAW!!!) Dadgummit, $1 to Bobby Bowden, football Bird! The Cocks will capitalize on the Moonshiners mishaps and secure another victory, which will bring their record back to .500 at 4-4. South Carolina 28, Tennessee 21.

Sound the ram’s horn! (Read that in a Psalm today). Dot dah dah DAAAAAHHHH!!! It’s time for the BIG Kahuna!!! (also love Pulp Fiction). THE feature game of the week!!! No. 9 at No. 2!!!

Auburn vs. LSU

The process of elimination picks up speed down in Red Stick, Satday, especially for the visitors. If Auburn loses it can kiss an SEC West division title goodbye. The Bayou Bengals would still have a shot if they lost, but won the remainder of their games. Something has to give.

In other words, this one is LARGE!

Things have gone miserably, in this game, for the East Alabama Tigers over the last 20 years in Baton Rouge. Nine losses in-a-row. Some of those games, 2005, 2007, and 2017 most noteworthy, were obviously due to VooDoo. That’s the only way it can be explained. And… the annual VooDoo Fest is being held in New Orleans this weekend. That don’t bode well for good ole AU. Whether it’s five missed field goals, a last gasp, last second, desperation pass into the end zone, or a comeback from a 20-0 deficit, LSWho has been extremely fortunate. The Cigar Game Curse? I don’t know. All I know is gloom, despair and agony follow Auburn to Death Valley like nothing I can remember in the history of football on The Plains.

The home team is a 10.5 point favorite, as we speak, on this Thursday afternoon. And a fine one it is! The forecast is for rain on Satday. I won’t reiterate the the numbers, angles, etc, of this game. LSU is arguably the best team in the country. Auburn has a very good football team. It will get even better as we move into November. Auburn plays ALL of its remaining games in the friendly confines of Jordan-Hare Stadium. That’s great! This game is being played in Tiger Stadium. That is not great at all.

Both teams will be ready. Auburn will not back down one inch. LSU will not flinch. SEC football at its best! Barnburner! Donnybrook! Stemwinder! All of these superlatives should apply.

In the end, you have a senior, Heisman candidate quarterback vs. a wonderfully gifted and gutty true freshman. As mush, AS MUCH as I literally ache for my loved Auburn Tigers to steal one from the host Tigers. it’s hard to see without help on turnovers, penalties, etc. LSU 27, Auburn 24.

Dear 7 lb. 8 oz. baby Jesus! Please PLEASE let me be wrong!

Before we go, here are the lines for the games we just previewed:

Alabama -31.5; Missouri -10; Texas A&M -10; South Carolina -4.5; LSU -10.5 (But you knew that).

She’s a wrap. Pray for Auburn, call your mama, read your bible, take care out there, and, of course, love your neighbor as yourself!

Week Eight SEC Picks: The Second Half Begins!

Let me begin by congratulating the University of South Carolina on its upset of the Trembling Chihuahuas ($1 to Jeff Schultz). Will Muschamp truly needed that signature win and now, maybe, he won’t have a stroke on the sideline, hopefully.

It’s a relatively benign docket of clashes scheduled for this weekend. The Third Saturday in October has become The Third Meh-Day in October. But, we down here in Dixie do love our glorious Sabbaths in the South. And thusly, let us make our 14 separate ways to the grand and glorious Cathedrals bathed beneath the sunkist skies, and some under the brilliant artificial lighting, for Week Eight of NCAA college football!

Alabama vs. Tennessee

As aforementioned, this once critical clash has become an October scrimmage for the the Pachyderms of Paul Bryant lineage. Whether it is played in the fall foliage of the Great Smoky Mountains or the, well, terrain of Tuscaloosa, it’s a snoozah. Here’s hoping there are no critical injuries, on either side, as Nick Saban’s Crimpson Tide marches forth toward the gargantuan showdown, in T-Town, with the Ferocious Felines of Red Stick. Alabama (-34.5) 48, Tennessee 13.

Florida vs. South Carolina

What do we have here? A hint of a scrap? Won’t be a nap. Could be a trap (channeling my inner Dr. Seuss). The Water Lizards are smartin’ (as is Kirby) from that defeat down on the Bayou last Satday. The Roosters are struttin’ coming off its massive upset Twixt the Shrubs of UGA. The game is in Columbia and the crowd will be at its barnyard best, but the egoless Danny Boy Mullen will have the visitors primed and ready and the hosts will return to reality. Florida (-5?) 27. South Carolina 14.

Georgia vs. Kentucky

The sun did shine quite brightly on the old the Kentucky home last Satday. It did not in Athens, GA. It will this Satday. Too bad for the, what will be reduced to, Kitties of Corn Mash. On a brighter note. The visiting squad has a favorable schedule, for the remainder of 2019, and it COULD run the table from here on out. Kirby may have to borrow some of Leonards’s “Smart Pills” if he hopes to get his Pups back to Hotlanta. This will be the first step in that direction. Georgia (-25) 37, Kentucky 16.

LSU vs. Mississippi State

This is the CBS feature game of the week. Say what??? That reinforces my assertion of Saturday being a Meh-Day. That’s what it’s come to. StarkVegas is the scene of the coming arse chewing about to be administered by Coach Ed “Yaw Yaw” Orgeron’s Bayou Bengals. Hit ain’t gone be purty! Joe Moorhead is now coming to the realization that “We’re not in Happy Valley” anymore. The SEC got game! And the Numero Uno Tigers, in my book, favored by 18.5 (not enough), will reduce the hometown Bullies into “Jambalaya, crawfish pie and a file gumbo,” quicker than you can say, Lagniappe! LSU 49, Miss State 20.

Missouri vs. Vanderbilt

It went from worse to “a whole damn lot worse” in Music City a week ago. The Commodewhores were routed by the Runnin’ Rebels of Sin City, 34-10! Say what deux ??? The Casino Kids only other victory, in 2019, was over Southern Utah. They have been defeated by Arky State, 43-17; Northwestern, 30-13; Wyoming, 53-17; and Boise State, 38-13. They am bad. Vandy am worse. I am not interested in this debacle unless George Jones rises from the grave, Jesus is coming soon!, and sings the National Anthem with Trisha Yearwood. Garth can harmonize. The West End Wonders will have to “take an ole cold tater and wait” until next year, when it will, quite possibly, have a new coach. Sorry Derrick Mason. I do like you a lot. Put the farm on the SEC’s third group of Tigers, -21. Missouri 45, Vanderbilt 13.

Texas A&M vs. Ole Miss

These Rebels did not run so well back on the twelfth of October. They dropped one out in the Show Me state to, don’t look now, the first place team in the SEC East. You heard that right! Numbuh one! Meanwhile, Jimbo’s Aggies were being subdued by them Elephants out thar where “the stars shine bright”, in Tejas. I do like the Black Bears, and The Grove is my favorite tailgate spot to visit in the conference, but I’m a thinkin’ the Agricultural and Mechanical school of College Station will prevail. Texas A&M (-6.5) 30, Ole Miss 20.

On to the big one! (In many of our eyes).

Auburn vs. Arkansas

Woo Pig Sooie!!! Our East Alabama Felines, helmed by native Arkansan, Gus Malzahn, will return RE-freshed and RE-newed for this battle, up in the Ozarks, Satday mawnin’! Gustav is 5-1 against his home state’s flagship program, should be 6-0, and his Tigers WILL be ready! Chad Morris’s Hawgs have yet to win an SEC clash since he took over the reigns from our good friend, Bret Bielema. ‘Ol Bert, as I was want to call him, really took the Fayetteville Flashes down the tubes. Good ole normal American football!

Auburn is now without the services of one Boobee Whitlow, but watch out for freshman DJ Williams! He is the real deal, and along with Kim Martin (lotta Cams/Kams in Tiger Town Lately), Shaun Shivers and Malik Miller, the ground game should Be in pretty good shape. Also expect Bo Nix to learn and improve from his lesson in The Swamp. Derrick Brown will lead a most fierce “D” and the special teams appear to be in order.

The Razorbacks gave both Texas A&M and Kentucky fits, so the Tigers better be ready. They will be! There should be minimal angst in this one and the visitors should return ti The Plains with win number six on the season. Auburn 42, Arkansas 17.

Please enjoy the featured image, “Tailgating in Little Rock, 1995.”

There’s your skinny for Week Eight in the SEC! Enjoy the games! Clean your plates. And don’t go dancin’ with the Devil. Take care out there and, ALWAYS, love your neighbor as yourself!

Week Seven SEC Picks: Tiger Meat, Tiger Meat!

OK everyone! All together now! DAAAHHHHT da da da da da… Go Gators!!! Thank you very much! I hope you enjoyed that! Let’s congratulate the Water Lizards and move on to… Baton Rouge, where the above mentioned cheer will be nowhere as long and as loud, this week, because, the always humble and hospitable Dan Mullen, and company, will find in Red Stick a deafening cacophony of sound where its cheer will be drowned out by the strains of Hold that Tiger in Death Valley. More on that later.

Yours truly tallied a 4-1 week. Remember that talk of perfection? Oh well. Our East Alabama Tigers, obviously, provided the only blemish in Week Six. For the season we now stand at 47-10 with a solid .824 winning percentage.

We now attempt another run at perfection. Seven contests are on tap and a couple of them ar pretty darn large.

Alabama vs. Texas A&M

Nick Saban’s West Alabama Pachyderms will travel to College Station, TX as a 17 point favorite over the Aggies of Texas A&M. Jimbo Fishers gents will, no doubt, be well-prepared but the visitors have far too much fire power for the 3-2 hosts. It could be a pretty good game for awhile, but in the end, the Crimpsuns will have rolled once again. Alabama 35 Texas A&M 17.

Arkansas vs. Kentucky

Hawgs and Felines will be a scratchin’ and a clawin’ and a bitin’ in the Bluegrass Satday and it certainly should be one heckuva scrap. Mark Stoops troops are in desperate need of a victory and that they will find in the friendly confines of Kroger Field. Maybe Chad Morris’s Piggies will, at least, get a few fuel points for the trip east. Kentucky 31, Arkansas 23.

Georgia vs. South Carolina

Cock a doodle doooooo! Wake up Puppies! The Roosters are a headin’ your way for a 12 noon kickoff is “Between the Hedges”! By the time old UGA gets his blood boilin’ it will be feathers a flyin’ and hens a weepin’ in Athens, GA. Will Muschamp will be outsmarted by ol’ Kirby and the Dawgs move another step closer to being crowned champions of the SEC East. Georgia (-23.5) 34, South Carolina 14.

Mississippi State vs. Tennessee

“Wish that I was not on Rocky Top watching the Vols get killed…” The hometowners actually have a good chance at winning this weekend, as Joe Moorhead’s Bullies invade venerable Neyland Stadium. The Vowels are only a seven point dog Satday. This could turn out to be a really good clash, or, it could be a case of which squad is the least inept. In any case, I think another win will just elude the hapless homies. “We had a win on the tips of our fingers, but we let it slip right through our hands.” Miss State 27, Tennessee 21.

Missouri vs. Ole Miss

Matt Luke, and not Mark or John, and his Johnny Rebs will do battle with one of the three sets of Fighting Felines Satday. These Cats hail from Columbia, MO and they will be lying in wait for the Black Bears of Oxford. The Kitties are installed by the Vegas crowd as 12.5 point favorites. I would give the Land Sharks a better chance in Groveville, but not out there on I-70. Missouri 31, Ole Miss 20.

Vanderbilt vs. UNLV

More Rebels, you say? Yessiree bobbie! And these Runners will be making the flight from LAS Vegas to NASH Vegas. Hootie hoo! Sit down please! The Music City Commodores are a 14.5 choice to defeat the Runnin’ Rebels namesake oddsmakers. Say what? You read it right! And, AND, I do expect Vandy to win AND cover! You’re welcome! PSYCHE! Vanderbilt 34, UNLV 21.

Feature game time! Feature game time!

LSU vs. Florida

I hope all you Floridians have truly enjoyed basking in the glory of your well-earned victory over Auburn. But your joy shall be short-lived. The Swamp is a tough place to play, but LSU in Tiger Stadium, at night, is a tough tough TOUGH TUFFFFF place from which to return to the Sunshine State with a “W.” Ask anybody except Alabama. That chompin’ defense will keep the Water Lizards in the game, but hain’t no way Coach “Yaw Yaw” and THESE Cats are gonna lose Satday. LSU 30, Florida 21.

So run to your computers or phones, or to whatever device it is that you use to place your wagers. I have just given you a list to get rich by. Have fun! And also, take care out there and be sure to love your neighbor (as you do yourself).

Week Six SEC Picks: Giggin’ the Gators

Once again ladies and gentlemen, and children of ALL ages, the Auburn Tigers will participate in the primo game of the week in Southeastern Conference play. The first Auburn-Florida game I ever attended was on November 2, 1963. Highlights later.

Last week I predicted five of six games correctly, and that brought my season stats to 43-9 and a percentage of .826. Kentucky did not defeat USC East (That’s the University of South Carolina for those of you in the laity), and, therefore, I did not have a perfect week. I have yet to go 100% in any of the previous five weeks. We look to rectify that in week six.

Onward and upward!

The SEC squadrons that will not play football on Saturday, nor any other day this week, are, in alphabetical order, Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, the Mississippi “Butthurt” Bulldoggies (yes, your words will always resonate in my heart and mind, Keith Jackson), South Carolina, and Texas A&M.

And now let us pick to perfection! Grin along if you like!

Georgia vs. Tennessee

Neyland Stadium, located in the Great Smoky Mountains of the Volunteer State, will be the site of the University of Tennessee’s next humiliation. It will be administered by Kirby Smart’s Pups. Jeremy Pruitt truly needs to win some football games but it ain’t happnin’ Satday. Break out the corn cobs and moonshine at the pregame tailgate because the only folks celebrating after this one will be those clad in red and black. Georgia 42, Tennessee 10.

LSU vs. Utah State

The Aggies travel to Red Stick with a 4-2 record and a quarterback, Jordan Love, that has been hyped for the Heisman Trophy. It’s athletic department sent me a spiral notebook containing his 2018 accomplishments, even though I don’t vote on the award. That was sweet of them. What won’t be sweet is the mangling inflicted upon them by those Bayou Bengals. Ed Orgeron’s Kitties will having a blast playing with the toys from the home of National Parks, such as Monument Valley, before they open up a can of gumbo on the visitors. LSU 49, Utah State 17.

Missouri vs. Troy

“Rah rah rammer jammer, best team in Alabama, Teeee-Roy Teeee-Roy!” That’s a cheer we used to do at Troy “State” football games back in the mid 70’s when yours truly was romping the fields of Pike County. And you better believe we wuz a ROMPIN’ there at 701 South Brundidge St. Then Jesus intervened and said, “Slow down boy!” Well, another story for another day. Praise the Lord and Punt the Pigskin! I would love to see my alma mater upset the Tigers, like they did a few years back on a Thursday night game, but I do not foresee it. Chip Lindsey’s Trojans will fall at the hands of Kelly Bryant and company. Barry Odom’s Felines are -24.5. Rubber men get drubbed! Missouri 45, Troy 13.

Ole Miss vs. Vanderbilt

The Johnny Rebs are but a seven point favorite over the Commissioned Naval Officers of NashVegas. That doesn’t seem to be quite enough, in this prognosticator’s feeble mind. The Grove will be a bustlin’ and the home boys will be a hustlin’. The coach with two first names, Matt Luke (my son’s name is Auburn Luke, BTW), will have his troops ready, and Derrick Mason (Jar) will sail back to Middle Tennessee, drop anchor, and re-evaluate his team’s dismal season at the halfway point. Ole Miss 28, Vanderbilt 17.

Auburn vs. Florida

And now we continue what I promised at the beginning of this Pulitzer piece! Yes, it was 1963 and my father, brother and I sat in temporary bleachers erected in front of the south end zone permanent seats, what was then, Cliff Hare Stadium. Florida had a big time halfback in Larry Dupree, later to become a first team All American in 1964. They were picked to whip us. And here’s the beauty of the situation. It was homecoming on The Plains! Guess whose homecoming it is this week? Yes, it’s the Water Lizards’ call to ole grads and all that accompanies it, Gator Growl, etc. All this is an attempt to muster up an electric atmosphere in The Swamp which could lead to an upset of General Gus Malzahn and his seventh ranked Tigers.

But back to ’63. Auburn beat the hell out of Florida that autumn afternoon, beneath the sun kist skies, to the tune of 19-Zip, and all the points were scored in Little Tweetie’s end zone! Two field goals by Woody Woddall, one 25 yard run by Jimmy Sidle, and one pick six by sophomore linebacker Wild Bill Cody. It was glorious! Yes, the atmosphere will be electric and the Gators will be a chompin’, but the visiting Felines flatten the home team, going away, in the fourth quarter. Oh wait! The 1963 edition of the Water Lizards had a brash young freshman quarterback who later became the Head Ball Coach in Gainesville. But freshmen couldn’t play with the varsity back then. Steve Spurrier would have to wait until two years later to return to Cliff Hare Stadium and take his whipping, 28-17, administered by the heavy underdog Tigers in 1965. Yes, it was again a homecoming game. Later Gators! Auburn 30, Florida 17.

Next week… Batman vs. Mr. Freeze (as Auburn has an open week), and many other surprises right here on Bird’s Banter!

Take care out there and be sure to love your neighbor! But you’d better not covet his ox nor his ass!