“Christmas is a coming and the geese are getting fat, please put a penny in the old man’s hat…” Y’all remember that one? And here’s some more good news! NCAA Football is here and the playoffs will begin, on December 20, BEFORE Christmas! We are set!

I already did my SEC predictions for the, now upon us, season. I have Georgia and Texas at the top. And yes, Vandy at the bottom. And the 13 remaining teams “working from one end to the other and all points in between.” Just a taste of some ZZ Top there for you. From the magnificent ‘Tres Hombres’ album. ‘Jesus Just Left Chicago’. What a title!

Time to quit yammering and “git ‘er done” for week one of good ‘ol Southeastern Conference football!

AR-Pine Bluff at Arkansas (-48.5)

One of the most beautiful mornings I ever experienced during my time as an inspector for AAA was leaving Pine Bluff as the sun began to rise many moons ago. It was a true “moment.” But alas! Things won’t be gorgeous for the Golden Lions in Fayetteville tonight. Arky 52, P. Bluff 7

Murray State at Missouri (-48)

The Racers (Can’t get “The Race is On” to stop playing in my head) pace will be considerably slower than the visitors to Columbia, MO would like in this evening’s contest. Eli’s coming with his highly ranked Tigers growling loudly, fast, and furious. Missouri 62, Murray State 3.

Temple at Oklahoma (-42.5)

The Owls won’t be doing a whole lotta hootin’ in Norman on Friday night. Okie will no doubt be trying to impress in its SEC debut. No “Sooner” said than done. Chuck Wagons 55, Philly Birds 14.

Georgia (-13.5) vs. Clemson (Atlanta)

Now we’re getting into the meat of things. Number 14 and Numero Uno. And it’s a nooner. Should be a scrap well into the second half. Then the most talented team in the country, by a long shot, will tighten the screws and turn up da heat. Dawgs 28, Cousin Clem 16.

Virgjnia Tech (-13.5) at Vanderbilt

The Dores of NashVegas pose the possibility an upset. Home game. Undefeated. Hope is alive and well. Ohhhhh…. Can’t do it. Hokies 27, Vandy 17

Chattanooga at Tennessee (-38.5)

The Top will be rocky for the Mocs. You can bank on Josh Heupel putting a prolific offense on Shield-Watkins Field at Neyland Stadium. The trip up I-75 is a short one but it will seem longer as the visitors slither back home. Corn Cobbers 49, Native American Footwear 10.

Colorado State at Texas (-32)

We welcome the Longhorns to their first game as members of the SEC. And we’ll see how Ram tough these Ewes truly are. Beautiful state Colorado. More on that in the coming months. A Colorado Rocky Mountain low as it’ll be raining a raging hades in Austin on a Saturday afternoon. Horns 45, Lambs 9.

Miami (-2.5) at Florida

What do we have here?! A real knock down drag out of a football game. AND… a chance at an upset! The Swamp! I usually think of Tony Joe White or John Fogerty when I muse on a swamp. I’m taking myself up on that upset. Albeit a most mild one. Florida 28, Miami 27.

Old Dominion at South Carolina (-21)

The baby Beamer better buckle up. The Monarchs (Butterflies or Rulers?) intend to make this one interesting. It could be for the most part. The Cocks are deeper and more talented. That usually translates into a win. They will in Columbia. Roosters 30, Nervous Stomachs 10.

Eastern Kentucky at Miss State (-24.5)

How often do the Bullies find themselves as a favorite of this magnitude? “Never my love…” Well, occasionally. A State fan called in to the Finebaum show and predicted his Doggies to have a winning season. God love him. Here’s to hoping! StarkVegasians 38, Colonels 17.

Western Kentucky at Alabama (-31.5)

Eastern Kentucky, Western Kentucky, Schlemiel, Schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated! A schlemiel is a clumsy, bungling person who often spills things or has bad luck, while a schlimazel is someone who is consistently unlucky or suffers from constant misfortune. Hasenpfeffer is a traditional German stew made from marinated rabbit meat. Coach DeBoer, minus Laverne and Shirley, will have a bowl of that. And Hilltopper it with Kentucky “brown”. It will be strange to not see Nick on the home sideline. But he’s darn good on the College GameDay crew. Elephants 45, Bowling Greeners 13.

Furman at Ole Miss (-42)

As I recall, Furman is about 20 miles north of Camden, my dear home in Wilcox Country, on the way to Montgomery. But one does have to brave the megalopolis of Snow Hill. Surely the Lane Train can easily navigate these not so murky waters. Black Bears 48, Paladins (Paladins where do you roam. Paladins, Paladins far far from home) 6.

Notre Dame at Texas A&M (-3)

PTL! Seems like yesteryear since we got to pick a stem-doggie! Fighting Irish vs. Aggies. Reckon this will be a brawl? No doubt! Gwen Stefanie and the whole shootin’ match. I fell in love with Ireland and do so want to pull for all things Irish. Can’t do that here. SEC! I do expect Mike Elko, A&M’s new head coach, to have his team primed and Kyle Field will be swaying. In a dandy! College Station 27, Emerald Isle Gang 23.

Alabama A&M at Auburn (-47.5)

This is a blowout I am really looking forward to watching. Finally! My Tigers. We’ll do it from the comfort of 116 Sundown Way. The Huntsville Bulldogs will pounded severely but they will receive a fat check. We’ll get to see a lot of new faces. Everybody will play. How much will the Tigers score? Auburn 63, Other Guys 0.

Southern Miss at Kentucky (-28)

The Cats used to be referred to as the Mildcats. No more. Not for a long while. And I, for one, am glad to see that. The more competitive the conference is it’s all for the better. (Or “butter” if you’re Gus). Mark Stoops has done quite the job in Lexington. The Golden Eagles (The Syrup Soppers) will make a bit of a fuss. The home town Kroger Fielders shall whup ’em. Canetuck 34, Hattiesburg 14.

And on Sunday! Be there!!! From Viva Las Vegas!!!

USC vs LSU (-4.5)

Maybe the best for last! Number 13. The Tyguz! And number 23. The Trojans! (Do not make condom jokes, Tweetie!) The Heisman Trophy winner has departed Red Stick but the talent has not. It’s still wait and see for (Abraham ) Lincoln Riley and the LA aggregation. Dandy #2! LSU 35, South Cali 31.

John Brown! Is that all? This took two days! That’s what a 16 team Super Conference will give you on opening weekend. And where’s my NIL money!? It’s been fun. I’m thrilled to be beginning my 64th season of predicting college football games in some shape or form, and may each of your teams have the best of luck.

Stay safe out there and, as always, love thy neighbor.

This one is dedicated to the memory of our dear departed Big Daddy Lawler. He always posted my picks and I miss him dearly. Peace.