SEC Football: Week Six

Welcome to an abbreviated session of revelatory SEC Football predictions! Like Willie we are on the road again. No won/lost record update. And blah blah blah. Let’s get to it!

LSU (-5.5) at Missouri

The Tyguz scored 49 points last week against Ole Miss. Problem is, the Reb-Bears tallied fiddy five. Yep! The ol’ double nickel. Felines aplenty in CO-Mo. Which will snarl most loudly? The eight ball says! LSU 35, Missouri 31.

Western Michigan at Miss State (-20.5)

Broncos and Cowbells. Sounds like a Wyoming love song. Or Bulldogs and Broncos. Same difference. The Bullies are in a dead heat with Vandy for dead last in the SEC. Don’t think I care to follow this one closely. I’ll hide, You watch. State 34,Western 16.

Alabama (-1) at Texas A&M

So (a needle pulling thread) The Tide is minus one AND has a 66% chance of winning. The Tide spanked Arky in its last outing while the Pachyderms crushed mighty State. Jesus told Nicodemus that he must be born again. Jimbo told Nickydemus he’ll need to be saved if things go south for him in College Station. But The Fisher man has a parachute worth many multi millions. It’s all good. Alabama 28, Texas A&M 23.

Ok. That’s all the time I have to pick before the games get underway. We are on the road from Fort Worth to Alienville, NM. Nanu nanu. And it’s 10:06 CT, Saturday AM

Here are your winners of the remaining three SEC games for today.

Vanderbilt at Florida (-18)
Gators. Do they cover? I don’t care.

Kentucky at Georgia (-14)

Dawgs win but do not cover.

Arkansas at Ole Miss (-13)

Lane Train (or Trane if you’re into the whole HVAC thang) wins and covers.

Gotta wrap this Week Six up. Not easy trying to type in a moving vehicle, especially if you’re driving. No no no. Miss LeCroy is behind the wheel. And I words cannot express how great an evening we had, last night, at Fort Worth’s oldest and best honky tonk, the Longhorn Saloon. IMHO the world’s best honky tonk.

Take care. Enjoy the games. And love your neighbor. Peace out. Take us home Waylon…

“Well, the Honky Tonks in Texas
Were my natural second home
The way you tip your hat to the ladies
In the rose of San Antone.

I grew up on music
That we call western swing
It don’t matter whose in Austin
Bob Wills is still the king…”


SEC Football: Week Five

Me and Miss LeCroy had a grand ol’ time at GABBAfest last weekend in Macon. Ate at Mama Louise’s H&H Soul Food Restaurant, God rest her soul, the best fried chicken in these United States and mouth watering sides. Mashed taters, mac n cheese, lima beans, fried okra, and sweet tea! Haw! The music was outstanding featuring Lee Roy Parnell on Friday night and the Bruce Katz Band on Saturday night. They were joined by a host of other musicians in a tribute to Dickey Betts, who remains underrated IMHO. God bless you Richard. Our pickin’ was not as good as these players’ was but it turned out okay. 7-2 took us to 40-9 on the season. That’s an .816 pct. And now I give you… Week Five!

Florida at Kentucky (-1)

The Water Lizards have been up and down. The Wildcats steady and proficient. Getting the job done. Neither team has lit it up or looked overpowering. Kroger Field Cats return to those friendly home field confines after a conference win in Music city. I expect them to take care of business once again. Kentucky 24, Florida 21.

Texas A&M (-6.5) vs. Arkansas (at Jerry World)

The JimboPetrinos took advantage of a bumbling Auburn squad last week. Don’t look for the same from the Piggies. They lost a tough one in Red Stick and look to turn it around Saturday. Upset special! Arkansas 27 Aggies 24.

Missouri (-13.5) at Vanderbilt

Eli’s coming to NashVegas! Better hide your heart girls, and boys. The 4-0 and 23rd ranked Tigers ain’t messing around and intend to keep that streak and have a Drinkwitz whomever they please. Missouri 38, Vanderbilt 23.

LSU (-2.5) at Ole Mrs.

And yet Ole Miss has a 56.6 chance to win according to ESPN’s FPI. Say what?! That don’t add up! Whatchu talking bout Willis?! Somebody been drankin’! LSU 24, Ole Miss 21

South Carolina at Tennessee (-12)

The Cocks wore the Corn Cobbers OUT in 2022. Scored 60 something. Well, that was in Columbia, SC. This un here is up on Rocky Top. Spencer Rattler is at the top of the SEC QB pile as we speak. The Vols Joe Milton ain’t too shabby either. Revenge of the Vowels. Tennessee 31, South Carolina 28.

Alabama (-14.5) at Miss State

The Tide tussled with one Mississippi in Week Four. Now they have two Mississippi in Week Five. The Bullies will not be a push over in Cowbellville on a Satday night but Nickydemus’s Elephants will prevail. Alabama 30, State 17.

And down on the Plains…

Georgia (-14) at Auburn

Well well well! As R.L. Burnside used to proclaim. What have we here?! The Kirby Clan headed to East Alabama for a Saturday afternoon picnic. Piece of cake! 28 in a row. Oh how we fear and tremble! Make it 7 straight against the Tigers. Not so fast, my friend! Let’s turn it back 81 years…

GEORGIA SUFFERS ITS FIRST DEFEAT; Auburn Ends Bulldogs’ String of 15 Victories and Ruins Their Rose Bowl Hopes TUMBLING GEORGIA FROM THE NATION’S NO. 1 POSITION Georgia Upset by Auburn, 27-13, After Fifteen Straight Triumphs.

Columbus, Ga., Nov. 21, 1942- -Georgia lost today to brilliant and under-rated Auburn, 27 — 13, and the crash of America’s No. 1 football team probably resounded all the way to Pasadena, Calif. 

🎶 Lightning striking again… 🎶

Upset special number TWO!

Auburn 27, Georgia 20.

I saw Lightning Lou Christie a couple of times. At a Big Bam Summer Show and, oddly enough, at the Thomasville, AL High School Gymnasium. I was in the company of Reg Albritton and Miss Peggy Jean Tait at the Clarke County show . God bless em both! Those were the days! Dancing. Parking. Singing along to American Pie. Maybe having a cold one, or ten. Bless y’all’s hearts! Be safe out there and love your neighbor. Peace out!
Take us home, Mary Hopkin…

“Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
Think of all the great things we would do?

… Those were the days, my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way
La-la-la-da-da-da 
La-la-la-da-da-da 
Da-da-da-da, la-da-da-da-da…”

Photo courtesy of openverse




SEC Football: Week Four

Not great picking in week three. A 7-4 record bringing the 2023 totals to 33-7 for a .825 pct. All is well. A couple of upsets here in Week Four. Press on to find out which games they will be.

Kentucky (-14) at Vanderbilt

The Cats are looking to retain an unblemished record at Music City in week four. Clark Lea’s Anchormen dropped a heartbreaker out in Sin City and look to rebound in the first conference game for both squads. The upset is possible but not likely. Kentucky 34, Vanderbilt 17.

Ole Miss at Alabama (-7)

Oh me, oh my. Where do I begin? To steal the opening line from the theme song of ‘Love Story’. It was a wildly popular book and movie. I was a freshman at Auburn when I saw it the first time. I rewatched it many, many years later. What was all the fuss about? The same could apply to Alabama’s football team three games into its 2023 slate of games. What was all the fuss about? Hype does not a great team make. Reality has taken a front row seat in T-Town. How does this saga continue to unfold? I’ll use three words of wisdom that I attempt to subscribe to concerning football, as well as life in general. We shall see. Ole Miss 27, Alabama 24.

UTSA at Tennessee (-20.5)

Beep beep! ZOOOOOM! The Roadrunners will race into Knoxville hoping that Florida beats the Vols twice. That’s the only way the Texas aggregation comes out on top in this scrap. I expect the Rocky Toppers to rebound nicely. Tennessee 42, THE University of Texas at San Antonio 17.

Arkansas at LSU (-17.5)

The Piggies stumbled and fell in their own slop last week. At home. Versus BYU. Blowing double digit leads TWICE. 38-31. Now they travel to Red Stick. The Bayou Bengals clobbered Miss State in their last outing. In Starkville. You do the math. LSU 35, Arky 17.

Charlotte at Florida (-28) & UAB at Georgia (-42)

Sports fans! We’re trying something new here at Bird’s Banter and SEC Football. It’s a combo package. We give you two picks in a package of one. And you, the fans, get to pick your own scores. I’ll put four scores out there and you assign them to the quartet of teams in the combo. We know who is going to win these two debacles. We just want to try and have some fun with it. And here they are: 7, 49, 38, and 3. You may proceed. Type your answers in the “reply” section if you so desire.

Memphis at Missouri (-6)

Tigers vs. Tigers. And it should be a rollicking good contest. The hometown Tigers could find themselves on the losing end if they can’t refocus after that highly emotional win over a quite solid K State team which was ranked 15th. Here is one of those shaky nods to the Show Me felines. Missouri 28, Memphis 23. “Help me, information, get in touch with my Marie
She’s the only one who’d call me here from Memphis Tennessee
Her home is on the south side, high upon a ridge
Just a half a mile from the Mississippi bridge…”

Miss State at South Carolina (-6.5)

The Bullies, as referenced above, were destroyed at home by LSU. The Cocks ain’t the Tyguz but they ain’t pushovers either, as evidenced in Athens last weekend. State continues its descent to the bottom of the SEC West. Roosters 26, State 17.

Auburn at Texas A&M (-8.5)

The line on this battle of west division foes has swelled rapidly from Aggies -6 to -8.5. And ESPN’s FPI gives the Tigers just under a 33% chance to be victorious. I call an even line with it being a tossup. Big Kyle Field advantage? AU is 4-1 out there. Bobby Petrino has the passing game rolling but Connor Weigman can’t light it up if he’s running for his life. I think the visitors will stuff the A&M rushing attack as well. When it’s all said and done, I think the team with the fewest turnovers wins. Auburn 31, Texas A&M 28.

Me and Miss LeCroy have the annual GABBAfest (Georgia Allman Brothers Band Association) in Macon this weekend and thank goodness for the Noon ET kickoff in College Station! We can watch it all from the comfort of our hotel room. It’s a Ramblin’ Man Revival tribute to Dickey Betts Saturday night at the Grand Opera House. Leroy Parnell headlines. WDE!!!

Take us home Dickey!

“You’re my blue sky, you’re my sunny day
Lord, you know it makes me high
When you turn your love my way…
Turn your love my way, yeah…”

Eat a peach for peace!

SEC Football: Week Three

How’re y’all doing ? Bless your hearts! George Jones often opened his shows with that line when he took the stage. Then he’d usually say something like, “We love you so much already that we won’t leave till 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning if you’ll stay with us. So let’s do it!” That’s how late we stayed up watching Auburn and Cal last Saturday night/Sunday morning. Whew! That’s the word I have after escaping with the “W”. Like Al Davis, the long time Oakland Raiders owner used to say, “Just win baby!” We are now 26-3. on the season for a pct. of .896. That rounds up to 90% if my math skills are intact. I don’t know about the rest of me. Pickin’ time!

LSU (-9.5) at Miss State

A great way to kickoff an SEC football Saturday at 12 noon. A dangerous game, In StarkVegas, for the more talented visitors from Red Stick. Methinks the Pups need to open it up a bit, they’ve gone run heavy, and turn QB Will Rogers loose. LSU 31-21.

Kansas State (-4) at Missouri

The Wildcats roar into Columbia ranked number 15, undefeated, and have shredded their opponents by a combined total of 87-13. Mizzou is 2-0, as well, but they sho nuff struggled with MTSU last week. Cats win and cover. Kansas State 28, Missouri 20.

South Carolina at Georgia (-27.5)

It was the summer of 1984 and my family was traveling from our home near Albany, NY back to the state where we grew up, Alabama. We were passing through North Carolina. It was hot and we were all thirsty. I suggested we stop at Camp Lejuene to get a drink of water. Our dog included. Oops! Turns out our dog was “with” puppies and they were all born three-legged. I know it’s a ridiculous story. And so is Georgia’s schedule. Spencer is rattled. Early and often. Dawgs 41, Cocks 17.

Alabama (-33) AT South Florida

At Tampa. Nice trip. Good recruiting move. Clearwater Beach. Hey! Get down there early and enjoy Ybor City and Busch Gardens. Stir up some excitement. The game will not provide any. If it is exciting it’ll be a long year for Alabama. Tide 48, South Florida 10.

UL Monroe at Texas A&M (-36.5)

Jimbo played for Terry Bowden at Salem College and at Samford. He was with Terry as a ol quarterback coach for many years, including at Auburn. They won a lot of games together. Now Terry coaches at ULM. The program with less resources than any other program in the FBS. I wish Coach Bowden luck. He’ll need it. Texas A&M 45, UL Monroe 14.

Tennessee (-6) at Florida

The Vols have not beaten the Water Lizards in Gainesville since 2005. The Great Pumpkin was head ball coach in Knoxville at the time. It was Urban Cryer’s first season in The Swamp. In other words, it’s been awhile. Weep not, ye Vols in tears! Tennessee 27, Florida 17.

Samford at Auburn (-34)

My one word summation of Auburn’s trip to the Golden State? Whew! And I would add, it got the “W”. That is the bottom line. The Bham Baptists are being sacrificed at the altar of a Power Five feast. It will be ugly but the Bulldogs will take a seven figure check back to Birmingham. Hugh Freeze & Co. will probably sling it around a good bit more this week. Gotta tune up that passing game. It will be needed in spades beginning next week in College Station. Auburn 51, Samford 0.

Vanderbilt (-5) at UNLV

A VegasFest! Las vs. Nash. The one-armed bandits will be humming and the Music City gang will be strumming. It should actually be a good game. Dores 31, Rebels 24.

Georgia Tech at Ole Miss (-17.5)

”Oh if I had a daughter sir I’d dress her in white and gold”, and take her to The Grove. She’ll tailgate like her life depends on it. Bobby Dodd once vowed that he would never take his team to Mississippi. Legendary Tech coach Bobby Dodd is going to roll over in his grave Saturday. I’d love to see the Ramblin’ Wrecks make it a close game. But… Reb-Sharks 42, Bees 20.

Brigham Young at Arkansas (-8)

The Cougars are looking for love in Fayetteville. But why women who prefer much younger men as a mascot? Beats me! To each his or her own. The Razorbacks won’t be seduced by a team they whipped in 2022. The Hawgs look to sweep this brief affair. Only a two game series. Sam Pittman’s Pigs will take advantage of the home field and remain undefeated on the season. Arky 30, BYU 24.

Akron at Kentucky (-25)

The Zips invade The Bluegrass in an evening kickoff at Kroger Field. The Cats should romp to a 3-0 record when this one is in the books. The Zippos will light a path back to Tire Town wounded and weary. Kentucky 38, Akron 10.

Remember to take care out there and love your neighbor. If said neighbor is a cougar… well, you’re on your own. Just do like Hillbilly Jim says when he signs off on his Outlaw Country show on SiriusXM radio. “Be kind to one another. It’s the right thing to do.” Take us home Ronnie McDowell!

“Older women, are beautiful lovers
Older women, they understand
I’ve been around some, and I have discovered
That older women know just how to please a man…”

Photo credit Miss Melodye LeCroy. Bird riding George Jones’ tractor at the now defunct Nashville restaurant and bar complex.


SEC Football: Week Two

We’re having technical difficulties here at Bird’s Banter. I’ve written several predictions, some multiple times, over the last two days, only to have them not “save.” I come back to the site and they have vamoosed. The three immediately below somehow survived. Soooo, on the bigger competitive games it’ll just be teams, lines, picks. Below those games will be the NWTTE games. Not worth the time and effort. The heavily favored teams will win em all and said favorite will be underlined. Let us roll.

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest (-10)

The Dores and the Deacons. Almost sounds like Jim Morrison and company crashing a church committee meeting. “You cannot petition the Lord with prayer!” The clearly buzzed frontman screams at the chair of the ‘Harumphs’. That’s one I’d pay to see, particularly if said deacs were of the fundamentalist ilk. Ok! This is actually one of the best matchups in Week Two of NCAA Football. In a stemwinder. Wake Forest 31, Vanderbilt 28.

Ball State at Georgia (-42)

The Cardinals are do do hammered for the second week in a row versus an SEC foe. The Dawgs pit crew will be challenged as the home squad speeds through another laugher. Georgia 49, Ball State 3.

Ole Miss (-7.5) at Tulane

”Way down yonder in New Orleans…” It’ll be rockin’ in the Superdome Satday! The hometown Green Wave have a decent shot at besting the Reb-Bears but the visitors have too much firepower. And thinking about this game flings a roast beef po boy craving on me. Ole Miss 35, Tulane 27.

Texas A&M (-3.5) at Miami. Aggies in a dandy.

Texas at Alabama (-7) Bama by 8.

Arizona at Miss State (-9) State wins and look good doing it.

NWTTE

Eastern Kentucky at Kentucky

Kent State at Arkansas

Austin Peay at Tennessee

Grambling at LSU

McNeese at Florida

Furman at South Carolina

And…

Auburn (-6) at California

I had the pleasure of working at Berkley, in campus ministry, from August of ‘86 through mid-April of ‘87. We got to see the Big Game, as it is called, with a 1-9 Cal team, coached by Joe Kapp, upset an 8-1 Stanford team. Also saw John Prine for the first time. Arlo Guthrie opened for him. It’s a beautiful campus and I loved it. We had really hoped to get out there for this one but it didn’t work out. I don’t think Auburn showed a whole lot last week. It won handily without having to do so. Auburn will open it up Saturday night with a nicely balanced offense and will really get after Cal and its quarterback in Ron Roberts’ attack style defense. Special teams? Another pick six? Could Brian Battie take a kickoff return to the house? Will Jarquez Hunter return.? Yes he will. And the Tigers will take the Golden Bears down! Auburn 34, Cal 24.

Hot dang! Can’t wait for this late night clash! SEC Football from noon until about 2 AM Sunday! Love your neighbor and be safe if you’re traveling to see your team play. Peace out. Take us home Jonny Prine!

”And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don’t cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won’t you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone
No, I’m just tryin’ to have me some fun…”

SEC Football: Week One

Welcome to Week One of SEC Picks on Bird’s Banter! Don’t we all remember Week Zero so fondly?! I was 1-0 on my only prediction of Vanderbilt over Hawaii. We saw a few good football games. Ah! Those were the days. Now we are pushing into Labor Day Weekend and many, many gridiron contests. A full slate of the best college football in the country! Along with ALL the other conferences. Bless their hearts! Let’s ride!

Florida at Utah (-5)

Da Utes (there’s more than two of them) are looking to avenge last year’s loss to the Gators in Gainesville. They will have the home field advantage way out yonder in Salt Lake City. I spent one night in Salt Lake City at a Best Western. My son, Luke, and I making our way from our home near Nashville to Boise, Idaho. It was my first far flung assignment as a AAA inspector. A “swing” inspector. That means I could be given work anywhere in the good ol’ USA. And I did see a whole lot of her during my 20 years in that job capacity. Back to the game at hand. In the Sodium Center. (I like mine Pink Himalayan). Tonight! The home squadron is ranked 14th in both polls. The Water Lizards are not ranked. Utah’s Kyle Whittingham is one of the best head coaches out there. Not just in NACLville, but in all of the US of A. Florida’s Billy Napier? We’ll see. A shaky nod to the Morton’s clan. Utah 24, Florida 21.

South Dakota at Missouri (No line)

Now we bounce from the epicenter of the Morman universe to the capital of the Show Me State. The visiting Coyotes, hailing from Badlands/Mount Rushmoring country, are given a less than 5 per cent chance to win the game. I give them a less than one per cent chance to upset the Tigers. It ain’t happening. Mizzou coach Eli Drinkwitz (You) will have his Tigers growling loudly and they will rip the moon howlers to shreds. Missouri 52, South Dakota 3.

Virginia at Tennessee (-28)

The Double Dribblers will be traveling to good ol’ Rocky Top for this opener and the Cavs might get dunked in corn liquor or, at least, fouled. No three free throws or three pointers will save the visitors. The final score will be a margin of four TD’s or more. Tennessee 38, Virginia 9.

Ball State at Kentucky (-26.5)

Unlike Stanford, Ball State sports multiple Cardinals, yet 22, 44, or even 66 (multiples of 11 you see) traveling redbirds will be enough for Dave Letterman’s alma mater to skin the Cats. Kentucky 35, Ball State 7.

West Carolina at Arkansas (No line)

Allow me another AAA work reference if you will. When we moved to to the Peach State in 1996, Western North Carolina was in my territory. Asheville, Cherokee, Maggie Valley, Cashiers, Highlands, and yes, Cullowhee, the home of Western Carolina University, are all located in this beautiful region of the Tar Heel State. It will not be a pretty site for Catamount fans when the Razorbacks are done with them. Arkansas 48, Western Carolina 13.

Mercer at Ole Miss (No line)

The Baptist Bears versus the Black Bears. All the folks tailgating in The Grove better secure those “pickinic” baskets or ol’ Yogi, Boo Boo, and friends might make off with a huge haul of goodies. The Maconites will be crushed by the Lane Train and it won’t be a peachy sight. Ole Miss 49, Mercer 6.

OK! Enough. Let’s not continue to waste our breath or keep typing unnecessarily. Holy Zonkers, Batman! 

SE Louisiana at Miss State (No line.)

State! Whack!

UT Martin at Georgia (No line)

Dawgs! Stomp!

New Mexico at Texas A&M (-38) Which translates to “Just as well be no line.”

Aggies! Bam!

Alabama A&M at Vanderbilt (No line)

Dores! Bonk!

MTSU at Alabama (-39)

Crimpson Tide! Crush!

Batman TV theme song plays… And fades into…

“Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning…”

And now for our second, and last true contest of Week One…

South Carolina vs. North Carolina (-2.5) at Charlotte

This one should be a dandy! The Tar Heels are ranked number 21. The Cocks (don’t be crude, Bird!) are almost ranked, accruing the 27th highest number of points both top 25 polls. The game features two potential Heisman candidates, Spencer Rattler (USCe) and Drake Maye (UNC). SEC-ACC. Prime time! (I wonder how Colorado will fare Saturday?) The wizened veteran, Mack “The Knife” Brown, and the young upstart, Shane “On You” Beamer. And break out the condiments! It’s the Duke’s Mayo Classic! Make it a ham on wheat with nothing but mayonnaise! YeeHaaw! North Carolina 35, South Carolina 31. 

FSU vs. LSU (-2.5) at Orlando

The biggest game of the weekend in college football. The only clash pitting two ranked teams, number five LSU and number eight Florida State. Last year’s hotly contested battle saw the Noles escape with a thrilling 24-23 win down in New Orleans. I wouldn’t be surprised to see something similar this time out. Should be a barnburner. Chief RC Cola and Mike the Tiger. A couple of fine mascots, as well. Another SEC-ACC matchup. Florida State has been doing more shopping than mall full of Christmas gift purchasing freaks on Black Friday. It’s looking to get the hail out of the Atlantic Coast Conference. More on that later in the season. Hoo Hooooo, mercy! We got us a doozie Sunday night! LSU 30, FSU 28.

And! Drumroll please!

UMass at Auburn (-35). PTL! It’s finally time for the opening day kickoff in “The loveliest Village of the plains.” Coach Hugh Freeze and his highly capable staff have done a remarkable job of revitalizing the roster through recruiting and the transfer portal. The NIL hasn’t hurt, at all, either. The Minutemen are to be commended for a nice win Week Zero, trouncing New Mexico State out in “The Land of Enchantment”. Las Cruces too be exact. The competition takes a hard uptick for the visitors Saturday afternoon as an angry and hungry group of Tigers are growling and snarling to prove they are back and ready prowl. The O line appears to be very much improved and the stable of running backs is deep and extremely talented. So look for a steady diet of totin’ the rock. That should lay the base for a few deep bombs and a diet of RPO’s from Michigan State transfer QB Payton Thorne, one of four Auburn captains. Robby Ashford should complement him well with his blazing speed and running ability. Watch out for a deep group of receivers, including the tight ends. Remember the names Renaldo Fairweather and Shane Hooks. Two potential beasts at tight end and wide receiver, respectively. And watch for true freshman running back Jeremiah Cobb coming out of the backfield to catch some passes. Think along the line of Cadillac Williams, his position coach. Offensive coordinator Ron Roberts will bring an aggressive style attacking defense that has plenty of hosses, but like the rest of the roster, they must step up and prove themselves. Oscar Chapman (punter), and Alex McPherson (placekicker)should prove to be outstanding. And watch for Brian Battie on kickoff returns. Jarquez Hunter will be back there with him. Lane Kiifin was quoted, a couple of years back, as saying Hugh Freeze is the best game day coach in college football. All this adds up to an exciting year on the Plains. Auburn fans, let’s be patient and enjoy it. Hope springs eternal as evidenced by the fact that all but a handful of tickets to the Miss State and New Mexico State games have been sold. They will be gone soon. “Heeeeeeere come the Tigers!!! Auburn 44, UMass 16.

Like Porky Pig used to sputter, “That’s all Folks!” Take care out there and love your neighbor as yourself. That’s the key! Have a great Labor Day weekend! Peace out!

SEC Football: Week Zero

Zero is scored “love” in tennis. That might lead you to think what’s love got to do with college football, in general, and the SEC, in particular. Well, I love college football and the SEC, as do those who will take the time to read this blog. And I hope Auburn’s first opponent, the University of Massachusetts, scores zero points next week when we rabid football fans finally get to a full slate of SEC games.

There is one SEC game on tap for Week Zero. Vanderbilt will host Hawaii. The Dores are a 17 point favorite to defeat the Rainbows. And who doesn’t like rainbows? And lollipops? And roses? I digress. I like digressing.

(Clears throat)

The SEC. Enjoy this 2023 season of SEC football. It’s the last time you will see it in its current form. Next year the conference will add Texas and Oklahoma to its already stellar cast of 14 squadrons. There will be no divisions. No SEC East and SEC West. It’ll be one through 16. The top two teams will play in the SEC Championship Game. And there will be an expanded playoff field. The playoff has to be revisited and revised due to the new madness of conference upheavals. Then there’s NIL and the transfer portal. I truly hope greed doesn’t kill the games. A motto of mine is “Greed Kills”. So good luck to college football and her survival.

Here are my picks on how things will finish in the SEC. A couple of adjustments since I posted my initial impressions on Facebook immediately after SEC Media Days.

Once more with feeling!

SEC East

  1. Georgia
  2. Tennessee
  3. Kentucky
  4. Missouri
  5. South Carolina
  6. Florida
  7. Vanderbilt

SEC West

  1. LSU
  2. Alabama
  3. Texas A&M
  4. Auburn
  5. Ole Miss
  6. Arkansas
  7. Miss State

Georgia is, of course , a “Duh” pick to win the East, although that group of runners up continue to improve as the East gets better and better. The Dawgs and Tennessee game, in November at Neyland Stadium, could be for the all marbles in that division. There are no bad teams in the East any longer. Yes, I love what Clark Lea is doing in Music City. Vandy is not an automatic “W” as you glance over your favorite team’s schedule and it includes Vandy. Eli Drinkwitz (You) and Shane Beamer have both done great jobs at Mizzou and USCe, respectively. The jury is still out on Billy Napier and the Gators. He is recruiting quite well at Florida. And you can’t count out Mark Stoops and his Cats. They’ll be gnarly, per usual.

Will the SEC West be decided in Tuscaloosa when the Bayou Bengals come to town? ‘Twas the case in Red Stick in 2022. Preseason pundits seem to love the Aggies of College Station as they do every season and, to this point, that love has not translated to a division title.

Lane Kiffin has been quoted as saying that Hugh Freeze is the best game day coach in college football. I hope he is correct. What he has done on the Plains, thus far, is nothing short of remarkable. Auburn will be highly competitive and capable of beating anyone on its schedule. They will also be capable of losing to anyone except UMass, Samford and New Mexico State. I do believe the Tigers ceiling is nine wins. Who’d a thunk it after the 2022 mess. Thank God for Cadillac and Hugh. We Aubie folks were looking square at a 3-9 season before the “Freeze Warning” was issued and we were replenished with an incredible haul in recruiting and a portal bonanza. WDE!

I think Ole Miss has a cruel schedule that will keep the Rebs from being contenders to win the West. Arky and State have very good football teams but the SEC West simply doesn’t allow either team to land in its top three. One of them in the fourth slot? Maaaaay-be.

One more observation on the West. Bobby Petrino as OC at A&M will be fun to watch. Whatever else you think about him, he can flat out coach an offense. Harley’s? Not so much. Jimbo and Petrino. A match made in (fill in the blank).

How about a quick update on conference realignments. The Big 10 has 20 teams. The Big 12 has 18. The SEC sports 16 fine football teams. And the ACC is squabbling about adding Cal, Stanford, and SMU. That would give the “Atlantic” Coast Conference 18 teams. And we would say goodbye to the PAC 12. Tragic.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

On to the “pick”.

Hawaii at Vanderbilt (-17)

The Rainbows will be dancing to the hula beats while the Anchormen will pedal up the steel guitar and twang late into the early Sunday morning hours. A battle it shall not be as the Music City Home Boys thump the visitors from the Aloha state. Vanderbilt 44, Hawaii 10.

“Well I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that it didn’t hurt, and the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad so I had one more for dessert. Then I fumble through my closet for my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt. And I washed my face and combed my hair and stumbled down the stairs to meet the day…” ($1 to the great Kris Kristofferson!)

That’ll do it for Week Zero in the SEC and all of college football! Take care out there and love your neighbor as yourself.

Next week! Batman vs. Mr. Freeze! Peace out!

 

 

Tennessee Saturday Nights

Tonight reminds me of so many Saturday nights in the early through mid 90’s when we lived in a little log/modular farmhouse on Cecil Keesling’s place about 25 minutes northeast of Nashville in Summer County, TN.

We’d do one of two things. Grill out or go to Gabe’s, “Nashville’s most charming Honky Tonk.” Gabe’s was where session players and country music’s backup band players jammed on Friday and Saturday nights. And they were cooking. And it was a dive. A most wonderful dive.

But Gabe’s deserves a formal blog unto itself.

Tonight’s a grill out night. In TN I’d usually put the Columbia Classic Country CD which kicked off with Johnny Cash’s “I Still Miss Someone.” Later, after our burger or steak or chicken we would listen to a Country Gold program on the radio.

And it was beautiful out there on Cecil’s place. He and his wife lived there the first 10 years of marriage and later bought a large proper house in a nice little subdivision very near where Beech Elementary, Middle and High Schools were. Cecil always liked the farmhouse better, he told me. Worsham’s convenience/grocery store was across the road that ran beside the school’s grounds on the east side.

No telling who you might run into there. A lot of country music stars lived in Sumner County. I literally about bumped into Johnny Cash there one afternoon. He stepped back and opened the door for me. Well, I’m saying to myself, What do I call him? Finally I mustered up a “Thank you, Mr. John.”

Yep, it’s one of those nights. Not unlike one during the Tennessee years. I am so very fortunate. Now me and Miss LeCroy are gonna clean up from dinner and turn it up. I hope that those of you who read these ramblings of an old guy have a great evening. I know we will.

Take us out Kris, “Lord help me Jesus I’ve wasted it so, help me Jesus, I know what I am. Now that I know that I’ve needed you so, help me Jesus, my soul’s in your hands, Jesus, my soul’s in your hands.”

Ramblin’ 7/24

“My hypocrisy knows no bounds.”

Doc Holliday from Tombstone

Yep! It’s 7/24/23. Makes me think of 24/7. I believe we ramble 24/7. Even when we sleep we ramble in our dreams. I assume y’all do too. My dreams remind me of the CCR song, ‘Ramble Tamble’. A great ramblin’ jammin’ song.

BTW, John Fogerty will be playing at Chastain Park Amphitheater Wednesday night. We probably won’t make it. That’s ok. I have seen John several times and he just kills it. The last time Me & Paul saw him was 8 or 9 years ago at AmerisBank Amphitheater in Alpharetta. Outstanding! At one point he said, “We’re gonna do another one just like the rest of them. Loud and fast.” Amen!

Chastain Park Amphitheater is now Cadence Bank Amphitheater, yadda yadda yadda. What’s up with all the bank named “sheds”? Reckon it has to do with money? 😉

At any rate. We will be at Chastain Amphitheater on 8/12, along with Leah snd Jim. Gov’t Mule! It’s been too long. They’ll be doing their Dark Side of the Mule stuff, which is a wide swath of Pink Floyd covers. There’ll also be a goodly number of Mule tunes played that evening. Opening for them? Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience. Rock and roll, Ladies and Gentlemen!

I recently completed reading a book for our new book club at Heritage Baptist in Cartersville. ‘Curveball’, she’s entitled, by Peter Enns. He also has a fine podcast called ‘The Bible for Normal people. Loved Enns’ book and the the four sessions of discussions our small group had about it. Quite interesting, challenging, inspirational, and funny at times. If you enjoy stretching and playing in the deep end of the pool, you will like it

And NCAA football season is rapidly approaching. Most teams will report to fall camp around August first. It’s the wild, wild west out there with the transfer portal opening, shutting, and banging like a screen door during a summer family get together. I’ll share my initial SEC 2023 blog either later this week or sometime next week.

So how about this heat wave?! Merciful Lord in heaven! As Miss Mabel Ratcliffe once said, when she walked her son Tommy and me into a roller skating rink housed in a huge tent with no AC, one summer in Camden, “It’s hotter than seven hells in here!” That’s about the long and short of it right now on the third rock from the sun.

Music? I continue to listen to jazz probably more than any genre. I love the traditional jazz masters just as I do traditional country music. John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Charlie “Bird” Parker, Thelonius Monk, and Charles Mingus, to name a few of the jazz greats.

We don’t get out to hear live music as much as we used to. A couple of weeks ago we boogied to a Grateful Dead cover band, ‘Frankly Scarlett’. They ripped it! Tight as a drum.

The best tv I’ve seen in a long time is ‘The Bear’ on Max (HBO). Seems like everyone in the brilliant ensemble cast was nominated for an Emmy except Jamie Lee Curtis. That’s a shame. A small tole that she knocked completely out of the park. Bob Odenkirk didn’t get nominated either. This one should clean up during awards season. Also loved ‘Redemption’ on BritBox. ‘Fatal Attraction’, the series, was pretty good but only got 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, whereas ‘Platonic’ (Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne) nabbed 92%. It is hilarious. It’s on Apple TV.Oh, Fatal Attraction is on Paramount+.

Take us home, Willie…

“I gotta go now
Guess I’ll see you hanging round
Don’t know when though, oh, no
Never know when I’ll be back in town…”

The Return of Ramblin’

It’s been awhile since we went Ramblin’ here at Bird’s Banter. Seven years, in fact. Ramblin’ is just off the cuff or stream of consciousness musings. And so! With a nod to Led Zeppelin. Ramble On!

I can smell college football comin’ round the corner! For better or worse, the game has changed dramatically. Like it or not, that’s the given now. Let us now give Pink Floyd the floor.

“New car, caviar, four star, daydream
Think I’ll buy me a football team. Money
Get back
I’m alright, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack
Money
It’s a hit
Don’t give me that do goody good bullshit…”

Speaking of sports (Remember the old radio program, ‘This is Howard Cosell speaking of sports’)? Our Atlanta Braves have the best record in the National League and the second best record in baseball. They lead the Miami Marlins by six games,

The games people play. Pretty good song and written by Joe South. Covered by Freddie Weller. I liked both versions. As a matter-of-fact, Dan Baird and Homemade Sin do a mean take on it. Danny was the front man for the Georgia Satellites a few decades back. Love his live shows.

I haven’t written much of anything about our recent trip to Ireland. Will do soon I hope. No bright ideas on that. But I will speak to the subject of Irish whiskey briefly. I sampled a goodly many of them due to the graciousness of a couple of great bartenders. Powers, Redbreast 12 year (A bit pricey), Bushmill Black Bush, and Writer’s Tears would be my go to Emerald Isle spirits as we speak. Jameson is ok but you need to go to the 12 or 18 year olds for a fine one in that line of whiskeys. Kilkenny, brewed by the fine folks at Guinness, was my favorite beer. Hard to find in the States.

Doing something, right now, I haven’t done in a couple of years. Watching Finebaum. I am getting football fever and I need some input. The magazines are out and they all have Auburn sixth or seventh in the West. That will not happen. I’ll get my preseason picks out after SEC Media Days when I have a much idea of what’s what in the SEC.

What am I reading now? Roddy Doyle’s ‘A Star Called Henry’. A slow go. Been picking at it for weeks. Heavy stuff. Ireland in the early 20th century. I’m two books into Michael McGarrity’s Kevin Kerney series. He’s a New Mexico guy. Page turning crime mystery novels. Most enjoyable.

Music? I listen to more jazz than anything else these days. By far. Real Jazz on SiriusXM is great. Apple Music is my other primary source of tuneage. John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Charlie “Bird” Parker, and Thelonius Monk are my favorites. Yet I do listen to a wide array of jazz musicians. I also continue to listen to my traditional country, classic rock, and pop oldies.

Me and Paul have watched some good streaming TV series recently. Perry Mason, Succession, and Barry on HBO Max. Waco: The Aftermath on Prime Video. George and Tammy was not good IMHO. We finished Redemption, Britbox, last night. Loved it! INTENSE. And it’s based in Dublin, where we spent four nights. That was neat. Apple TV has Ted Lasso The Crowded Room, and Platonic. Yes!

And so, boys and girls… M. O. U.S. E. 🎶 Bye bye!

Leo