DORES SLAM ON RAINBOW WARRIORS

Week Zero, what a concept huh, was kind to the lone SEC team to see action yesterday as mighty Vanderbilt hammered host Hawaii like a ten penny nail, 63-10.

Jethro Bodine, aspiring “Double Naught Spy”, was elated at college football’s first weekend having incorporated “Zero” into the weekend’s title. Miss Jane Hathaway was rumored to be instrumental in the name selection process of the season’s unveiling.

Jed Clampett responded with an enthusiastic, “Welllll doggie!” when informed of the SEC team’s first game victory. Miton Drysdale was not available for comment. And Granny Clampett was last seen out by the family’s cement pond nipping on some rhuematiz “medicine” late Saturday evening.

And now, on to how Vegas views the activities scheduled for what is being termed “Week One” of NCAA football, oddly enough. Chuck Negron, of Three Dog Night fame, was highly influential in the decision making for an apt moniker of contests to be played September 1-5.

Ball State at Tennessee (-34)
LA Tech at Missouri (-19)
Sam Houston at Texas A&M (-29.5)
Oregon at Georgia (-17) Atlanta
Cincinnati at Arkansas (-6.5)
Troy at Ole Miss (-22.5)
Utah (-3) at Florida 👀
Miami Ohio at Kentucky(-16.5)
Mercer at Auburn (-31.5)
Elon at Vanderbilt (-19)
Utah State at Alabama (-41.5)
Memphis at Miss State (-15)
Georgia State at South Carolina (-12.5)
Florida State at LSU (-3)

Predictions coming soon!

(Photo courtesy of Openverse)